Whats jokes
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
Q: What happens when a pig plays tug-of-war?
A: Pulled pork.
What do you call a pissed off midget?
A micro-aggression.
Memes
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?
Ooh, snickerdoodles!
After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm?
My penis.
What’s better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?
Not being retarded.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
Q: What is Germany's favorite board game?
A: Nahtzee (Yahtzee).
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
What is the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?
One of them is wanted.
What’s the difference between a child who is home alone and an orphan?
They’re both alone, but only one is home.
What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-
Grand Theft Otter!
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
What is the strongest creature in the sea?
A mussel!
What do we want? Plane noises!
When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!
What do cows call money?
Moola.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.