
Whats jokes
What's the bad version of "Fuck Nirvana, rape me?"
What did the tower say to its twin? "Hey, is that a plane?"
Three sons left home, went out into the world, and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.
"I built a big house for our mum," said the first.
"I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur," said the second.
And the third smiled and said, "I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it."
A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,
"The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house."
To the second son she said, "I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude."
To the third son she wrote "Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!"
What is a terrorist's first move in chess?
C4.
What do you call a horde of Autistic kids?
A zombie Apocalypse!
Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh🧟
What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?
"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"
What game do zombies like to play?
Corpse and Robbers.
What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?
An emo slits.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
The Virgin Mobile.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A Ba-na-na-na! (To the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
Technoblade: It is high vitamin B.
Quackiity: What does vitamin B stand for?
Technoblade: Broke.
What does Michael Jackson do with his meat? "Just beat it". His song btw lol.
What falls and never gets hurt? Snow.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.
A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her.
What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?
The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.
What do you call four black people in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat.
What's red and really bad for your teeth? A brick.
