Whats jokes

What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight each other?

Alien vs. Predator.

What did the squirrel say to the dog?

"There are nuts in your poop. I found them!"

What type of bee makes milk?

A boobee.

What does a lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

"Same time next month?"

What's similar between a pregnant 14 y/o girl and the foetus inside of her?

They both are thinking "My mom's gonna kill me!"

What number is better; 46 or 47?

I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.

One day a cow ate a fish.

What came out the other side?

A dead fish.

What was blue and black and doesn't like to have sex... The little girl in my trunk.

What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

You got a black cat.

He was bad luck.

Everyone left you and you committed suicide.

What a CATastrophe!

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture frame?

It only takes one nail to hang a picture frame.

When I'm bored, I like to slap orphans. I mean, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

There was a cowboy riding in a desert when he saw a little girl up ahead. He heard her crying, so he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her: "Hey, what's going on? Why do you cry? Where are your parents? What happened?"

The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The Indians came, killed my father and my mother, and raped my sister."

The cowboy just laughed, unlocked his belt, and pulled his trousers down and said, "Guess it isn't your day, is it?"

If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.

What do you call a Black person flying a plane?

A pilot, you racist!

What does an apple and a gay person have in common?

Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.

Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.

1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.

2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.

4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.

5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!

7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!

8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!

9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!

10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!

Q: What did one koala say to the other? A: How's it hanging? 😂

What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who dresses like a merman? Posiedown.