Whats jokes

What kind of dog can do magic tricks?

A labracadabrador.

What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?

They both make vegetables.

Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?

A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is just a watermelon.

What do you call a nine year old with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

What do you call a male cow who’s taking a nap?

A bull dozer.

What's the difference between orphans and dogs?

Dogs get adopted.

What’s the best thing about 26 year olds?

There are 20 of them.

What are Michael Jackson’s sexual pronouns? Hee hee!

What do you call a group of emo kids?

The suicide squad.

What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?

Ow!

What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? A combo meal.

What's the difference between a painting and Jesus?

A painting only needs one nail.

Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?

A: Fall.

If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.

What do you call sad coffee... deppresso!

What has more brains than a student in a school shooting? The wall behind them.

What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.

What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?

At least you don’t die when you shower.

One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"

What is the opposite of Progress?

Congress.