Week jokes

I don't wanna brag, but I finished a puzzle in under a week, and it said 2-4 years on the box.

Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?

Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.

My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.

That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Last week was my blind friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need.

As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grater for a birthday present, he sets it next to him. As weeks pass, he comes up to me. He said, "That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I have ever read!"

If BlessedBrian were ANY LESS intelligent, he’d have to be WATERED twice a week.

Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.

Yo hair so big it took me weeks to find the needle in it.

I really like those "driverless cars." I saw loads of them last week in the car park.

I’m still wearing the smile you gave me last week :)

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"

To make tea, road, road, road, road.

Case.

The space of space, Der der.

The chosen week was chosen.

Object.

Der mezzer lakes.

When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"

Last week, I made a joke about leftists. Now it is time for me to take shots at the right, and then I will move on to centrists. But I just said the same thing twice.

Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔

What's a rapper's favorite day of the week?

FREESTYLE FRIDAY!

Last week I went on a whale watch.

After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.

A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."

The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"

The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."

Y'all catch me up, what's going on on this website because I haven't been on for, like, 2 weeks?

After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer.

The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.

Queen Elizabeth died a couple weeks ago. I'm still trying to find the reboot catd.