Water jokes
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.
Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.
Why did I giggle?
Because I saw the ocean's bottom.
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?
A holy cow!
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out, man.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
What did the sea do when it saw the beach?
It waved!
Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.
Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.
Your mama's so fat, when she jumps in the pool, the water jumps out!
Why do ducks have feathers? So they can cover their butt quacks.
What type of gun isn’t allowed in Africa?
A water gun.
What is the worst tool to play when playing the game “Icebreaker”?
The Titanic.
In memory of Michael Jackson, Starbucks and various other establishments are introducing the Jackson tea. It's 50 year old water, with a 7 year old tea bag.
What is the only video game to be ever made in Africa?
Where's My Water?
What is a fish’s 🐟 favorite game?
Salmon Says!