Water

Water jokes

Sex toy

You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys.

Thank you, Jesus, for creating holy water!

Scuba Diving

I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.

It was a breathtaking experience.

Rose

Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!

Hippie

Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out, man.

Girl

What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?

A blood bath.

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  • Step

    Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:

    Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).

    Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.

    Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!

    Mama

    Your mama's so fat, when she jumps in the pool, the water jumps out!

    Nun

    Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.

    The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"

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  • Duck

    Why do ducks have feathers? So they can cover their butt quacks.

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  • Daughter

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water. Jack fell down, his cock was out, and Jill gained a daughter.

    Titanic

    What is the worst tool to play when playing the game “Icebreaker”?

    The Titanic.

    Tea

    In memory of Michael Jackson, Starbucks and various other establishments are introducing the Jackson tea. It's 50 year old water, with a 7 year old tea bag.

    Chicken

    *WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....

    What came first? The chicken or the egg?

    Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?

    Who taught the first ever teacher?

    If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?

    If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?

    In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?

    Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?

    How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?

    The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?

    Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?

    Is it possible to cry underwater?

    If two left handers have an argument, who is right?

    I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O

    Mama

    Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!

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  • Jack

    Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.

    Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.

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