Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.
"13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.
"Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.
"You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out, man.
What did the sea do when it saw the beach?
It waved!
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
Your mama's so fat, when she jumps in the pool, the water jumps out!
Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:
Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).
Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.
Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.
The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
Why do ducks have feathers? So they can cover their butt quacks
What is a fish’s 🐟 favorite game?
Salmon Says!
What is the worst tool to play when playing the game “Icebreaker”?
The Titanic.
What is the only video game to be ever made in Africa?
Where's My Water?
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water, Jack fell down his cock was out and Jill gained a daughter
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.
Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.
What do you call blue and orange at the bottom of a pool?
A baby with flat armbands!
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.
Q: What do American beer and canoes have in common?
A: Fu@king close to water!
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
