Water jokes
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water. Jack fell down, his cock was out, and Jill gained a daughter.
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."
What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?
"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"
What runs but never stops?
I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.
You remind me of a snowflake, beautiful and unique. One touch and you're wet.
I found out how to gain millions of followers.
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:
Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).
Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.
Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
The "W" in Africa stands for water.
Water was found on Mars.
Mars: 1 Africa: 0
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
What is illegal in Africa? Water guns.