Water jokes
What runs but does not walk? It's water.
I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
A scientist discovered water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for, just let me in!
I saw a Down syndrome kid waving at me today, but there's no way I'm swimming all the way over there to save him.
"Eugheugh," said the boy.
You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
The toaster, otherwise the perfect bath bomb.
Why was the beach salty? Because the land didn't wave back. The ocean then called the land a beach.
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."
I like my women like I like my diving pool:
Deep and wet.
What did the priest say during the christening?
"So anyway, I started blasting!"
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!
Why is the beach friendly?
Because it waves!
What happened to the cheetah that took too many baths?
The cheetah became spotless!
Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:
Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).
Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.
Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!
That dam looks damn cool!
What is a Mexican's least favorite type of water?
I.C.E. water.