Water jokes

Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.

Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water. Jack fell down, his cock was out, and Jill gained a daughter.

What runs but never stops?

What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?

"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"

You remind me of a snowflake, beautiful and unique. One touch and you're wet.

I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.

Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.

I found out how to gain millions of followers.

Run through Africa with a bottle of water.

How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!

The "W" in Africa stands for water.

What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?

Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.

(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)

Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!

You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys.

Thank you, Jesus, for creating holy water!

My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."

Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?

You would be dam unlucky.

Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.

One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."

Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.

You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.

What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?

A holy cow!