Water jokes

Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water. Jack fell down, his cock was out, and Jill gained a daughter.

What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?

"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"

What runs but never stops?

I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.

You remind me of a snowflake, beautiful and unique. One touch and you're wet.

Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.

I found out how to gain millions of followers.

Run through Africa with a bottle of water.

How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!

The "W" in Africa stands for water.

Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.

One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."

You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.

What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?

You would be dam unlucky.

My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."

Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?

A holy cow!

Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.

Why did I giggle?

Because I saw the ocean's bottom.

Why doesn't Adele swim properly?

Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽‍♂️

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!