Water jokes

See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.

Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.

What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?

"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"

What runs but never stops?

I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.

You remind me of a snowflake, beautiful and unique. One touch and you're wet.

I found out how to gain millions of followers.

Run through Africa with a bottle of water.

Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.

How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!

The "W" in Africa stands for water.

You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys.

Thank you, Jesus, for creating holy water!

What is illegal in Africa? Water guns.

Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!

Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.

One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."

Why did I giggle?

Because I saw the ocean's bottom.

Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.

What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?

A holy cow!

You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.

My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."

Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?

You would be dam unlucky.