One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.
Water Jokes
Q: What do American beer and canoes have in common?
A: Fu@king close to water!
What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, he just WAVED.
Did you SEA what I did there?
GUY: Yes
Are you SHORE?
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?
An H2hoe.
How do fish get high?
Because they eat seaweed.
What's the difference between the Titanic and Georgie from "It"?
Georgie floated!
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun...
What did the chef on the Titanic scream as he tried to finish the dishes? "Oh no, the sink sank!"
Why did the octopus blush?
He saw the bottom of the ocean.
Riddles not jokes.
What has 4 legs but cannot walk?
What has bark but no bite?
There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?
What has holes but can carry water?
What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?
What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?
What can you catch but not throw?
And last one:
What can rule, but not command?
Tell me the answers in the comments.
Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/
One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
(everyone on Titanic) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, the ship will sink!!!!
(person washing hands) I'm using the sink, wait your turn!!!!!
(all crew members laugh) Hahahhahahahahah.
What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.
Why is the mermaid so dirty?
Because she is a maid, mer-maid!
A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?
Yeah, it went on and on.
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.
