War jokes
What do you call a swimming terrorist? A bath bomb.
What is the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school?
Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?
Hiroshima, Japan 1946.
What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?
Smoking.
Why did Hitler commit suicide?
He got the gas bill.
9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.
It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.
"Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"
"What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"
"They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"
Are you Hiroshima? Because I want to drop my bomb inside you.
Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!
Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!
Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.
My dad died in 9/11. He was a Muslim pilot.
What would Hitler be called if he abused women? Hither!
My dad killed Hitler.
What's the difference between an air blower and Little Boy?
When the air blower blew, it did not wipe out Hiroshima.
What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?
Morgan.
POKEMON THEME SONG JOKE: I wanna be the berry best, like no one ever was.
To bitch them is my real pest, to brain them in my toss. I will gravel across the land, perching war and wide. Fuse Pokemon to under-strand, the lower that's in psyche.
Poke him on! Gotta joke them all it's Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you're my pest friend, In a world you must de-blend, Poke him on!
Gotta joke them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!!
Gotta joke them all, Gotta joke them all!
Poke him on!
We used to be the tallest buildings in New York...
Then we took an Arab to the knee.
Adolf Hitler + Vladimir Putin = Vladolf Putler.