Casualty jokes
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The 9/11 victims, they went through 700 stories in 10 seconds.
I remember my son's last words: "I stubbed my toe!"
Where did little Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
What do you call a person who died in war?
Little Johnny.
What has 6 legs, 10 arms, and 3 heads?
The Boston marathon finish line.
What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.
What do you call a peanut on the allergy table?
A kill streak.
Where did Johnny go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
9/11 wasn’t the date, it was the score.
"Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"
"What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"
"They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"
When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?
Why do trannies suck at being soldiers? Because they have a 41% casualty rate.
Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?
Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers upset? They ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead they got plane.
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
*World War 2 going on and then stops.*
Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.