Want

Want jokes

Apple

  • In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

  • 1
  • Wish

  • So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.

    The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.

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  • Woman

  • Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.

  • 0
  • Poo

  • You're so ugly whenever you say hi, people walk away and say that you were too ugly, and they go take a bath right away because you're so stinky.

    They say that you look like your mama. Wait, your mama must be just like you because I can see her way from a mile!

    You say you put on perfume, but every time I smell you, you smell like poo-poo. You're so ugly that when your mom looks in the mirror, you cry. You're so stupid the second-grade teacher had to tell you to go all the way to kindergarten. Head Start is every grade below you. You can't even go to the 20th grade, which stands for 9th grade. You can't even go to grocery stores, and people that tell you that you're so ugly give you compliments just to make you feel better. You know that everybody just likes you just because they just don't want to hurt your feelings, so just stay in your mind. Hey, you want to text Matt; you know it was you because every time you see you, you think that you matter. Matter fact, he doesn't even like you; he just wants your money girl. Who even likes you? 😈😈

  • 5
  • Orphan

  • Mrs. Harolen: Students, tomorrow's assignment is to bring your parents to school for a conference with the teacher information.

    Garen: I want to know who cannot bring their parents to a conference. ORPHANS!

    Students: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    Mrs. Harolen: Garen sit down! NOW!

    Garen: Hey, why can't orphans get a dog? They don't have their parents to drive them to the animal shelter.

    Halen: Yeah! Why are orphans racist? Because they never saw their parents with a different race!

    Students: No, that's not funny!

    Student: SHUT UP!

  • 2
  • Finger

  • My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"

    Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.

  • 1
  • Fortnite Card

  • GIVEAWAAAAAAY!!!

    Okay, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it? And yes, I’m giving it away. Remember: Share, share, share! And trolls: Don’t get BLOCKED!

    Watch

  • My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.

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  • Loser

  • What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.

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  • Necrophilia

  • So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

    If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

  • 1
  • Jew

  • A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."

  • 2