Want jokes

What do you call a born-again heteroflexible male that is a Christian nationalist who thinks he is bisexual when the LGBT community knows that he is bicurious and that he is on steroids and that the LGBT community knows that he is not telling the truth about that? He is a gay man that is in the closet. He should be forced out of the closet by gay men in the LGBT community by any means necessary if gay men in the LGBT community still want to defend the wall of separation of church and state by any means necessary.

Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.

She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"

These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.

Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?

Because momma never raised no pussy.

Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?

It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd-shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.

As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

If a heterosexual man wanted his dick sucked, what would a feminist say to him that a gay man would never say to him?

"Not now, I have a headache."

Little Timmy wanted to take a shower with his dad. His dad said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's dad said, "That's Mr. Wiggles." Timmy wanted to take a shower with his mom. Timmy's mom said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's mom said, "That's my garden." Timmy's mom said, "Don't look up." Timmy looked up. Timmy said, "What are those?" Timmy's mom said, "Those are her headlights." Timmy wanted to sleep with his parents. His parents said, "Don't look under the covers." Timmy looked under the covers. Timmy yelled, "MOMMY, MOMMY, MR. WIGGLES IS ATTACKING YOUR GARDEN! TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS!"

Why did the woman want a boyfriend at least 2 🦶 taller?

So she could feel like a little girl and fulfill her rape fantasy.

I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks.

I didn't want to interrupt her.

I heard a pretty juicy rumor about butter, but I decided I didn't want to spread it.

What did a terrorist say when New York didn't want his food?

"Here Comes The Airplane!"

I got caught masturbating in the bath by my mum!

I said, "Mum, I’ll wash it as hard and fast as I want!"

A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.

The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.

After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.

The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.

Why did the silly girl put sugar under her pillow?

She wanted to have sweet dreams. 😂

Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"

Why did orphans want to commit a crime?

Because they wanted to see what it feels like to be wanted.

Why does an orphan wanna be a criminal?

Because they wanna be wanted.

You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.

yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it told her "I wanted your weight not your phone number."