Want jokes

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.

Why do orphans play GTA? So they can be wanted.

I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.

Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you ;)

I know what I want to be for Halloween! A pumpkin! I'm very good at carving into myself, after all.

Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they drive slow through school zones.

You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)

Life's too short to want it.

Other girls be like, "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under. 😃👍

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day, and the teacher was talking about life. The teacher asked him, "Little Johnny, how do you want your wife to be like?" Little Johnny answered, "Like the moon." The teacher said, "That's such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful." Little Johnny replied, "No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning."

One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one, then he/she should stand up.

After a minute, a boy stands up.

The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.

The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."

I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.

I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder

Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes?

Because they are aimed at a younger audience.

Why do orphans like getting kidnapped? Because someone actually wants them. 🤣

I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"

I got suspended for asking an emo kid if he wants to hang out with me.

"What do we want?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

"When do we want them?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, "Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween."

Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, "Mark, what would you like to eat?" Mark said, "I'd like some fucking potatoes." *SMACK*! Mother slapped Mark. She then asked Suzie, "What would you like to eat?" "Well, I'd like some fucking potatoes," said Suzie. *SMAACK*! She slapped Suzie. "Okay, Johnny, what would you like to eat?" "Well.... I sure as hell don't want no fucking potatoes."