Vs jokes
What's the difference between a pair of jeans and an African baby?
A pair of jeans only has 1 fly.
What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage...
Lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place, but Chuck Norris does.
What is the difference between fruits and Orphans?
Fruits get picked.
We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?
“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”
What's the difference between a black Jew and a white Jew?
The black Jew sits in the back of the oven.
South Tower: Man, that was da bomb.
North Tower: No, that was da plane.
What's the difference between sex and gender?
You can't have gender with your sister.
What's the difference between leafmen and leafwomen? Palm trees.
What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.
What is the difference between hungry and horny?
The cucumber goes to different places.
What is the difference between you and Iron Man? You have a wonky hairline.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?... One always gets picked.
What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
What's the difference between the baby I just killed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
They both only change their pads after every third period!
What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?
Absolutely nothing.
"It's Sunday evening!"
"No. It's Monday eve."
Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?
The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
I don't know, I'm just the drone pilot.