Vs jokes
What is the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?
One of them is wanted.
Why don't communists like Microsoft? Because it's Minecraft instead of ourcraft.
What is the difference between an orphan and a homeless person? Nothing, haha.
What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?
Absolutely nothing.
What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital?
I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.
Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.
What's the difference between a baby and a brick?
A brick doesn't cry when you throw it on a wall.
What's the difference between twin towers and McDonald's?
One had a drive thru and the other had a fly thru.
What's the difference between humans and mushrooms? I don't like eating mushrooms.
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a carpet muncher, you have to give her money.
Americans: Miles per hour.
Europeans: Bullets per kid...
What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
What is the difference between an American and an orphan?
They don't have a home to get their guns.
How are babies and watermelons similar?
They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
You only need 1 nail to hang a painting!
What's the difference between a mosquito and a pornstar? One stops sucking when you smack it.
What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple? The apple falls from the tree.
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.