Vs jokes
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.
What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?
One actually finished a race.
What's the difference between Kobe Bryant and Jeffrey Epstein?
Only 2 13-year-olds went down on Kobe's helicopter.
What’s the difference between the baby I just stabbed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What's the difference between a piranha and a teenage girl?
The piranha doesn't wear makeup.
What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?
When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.
What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?
They both have red circles on their bodies.
Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?
A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
Science can fly you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
What is the difference between a hipster and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers.
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is usually a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
Why are gay men better than straight women?
Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.
Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.
Joke time!
Now, Heaven or Hell?
Heaven: we got clouds.
Hell: we got a frickin' private yacht!
What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
They both only change their pads after every third period!
What is worse than seeing your sibling drown?
Getting the water bill.
What is the difference between onions and my dead grandma?
I cried when I cut up the onions.
What is the difference between a terrorist and a prostitute?
The prostitute can blow you more than once.
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
You’ll only need a single nail to hang the picture frame up.