Vision jokes
Michael Jackson so white, I turned blind.
Why did the old man fall into the well? He couldn't see that well.
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
Why can’t the blind man find love?
It’s called love at first sight.
Your forehead is too big. I can see my future when it shines.
Why does China have the biggest eyewear?
Because all their eyes are too small.
If you pour paint in your eyes, the paint loses the 't'.
What do you call a German man who can't see?
A not see.
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...
... the first two being politics and religion.
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
You think people with glasses are smart, but they fail the eye doctor test.
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
What is a blind person's favorite color?
Black.
Why did the man fall into a well? He couldn’t see that well.
I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."