Vision jokes
Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?
A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.
Why did the cellphone get glasses? Because it lost its contacts!
I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.
"Come on, take the camera!"
"Isn't it clear?"
"Well, look!"
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
"Spell ICUP."
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer (no idea).
You're so bald, the reflection off your head is blinding people in India.
I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."
Why did the man fall into a well? He couldn’t see that well.
How do mountains see? They peek.
Are you the sun? I can see you from a mile away.
Your forehead is so big that you can see the whole world before you do!
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...
... the first two being politics and religion.
What do nerds and chicks have in common? They both have four eyes.
Why did an old man fall in a well?
Because he couldn't see that well.
Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils.
Why did the blind man fall into the well?
He couldn’t see that well.