Violence jokes
If she refuses to suck and threatens to bite, just knock her teeth out. Call it the “Bloody Gummer”.
What's white, red, and screams a lot?
A baby in a blender.
My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.
What was blue and black and doesn't like to have sex... The little girl in my trunk.
When I'm bored, I like to slap orphans. I mean, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
How do you blow up an Indian? Press the red dot in the middle of their forehead!
🤣😂😆😁
When you steal the weird pet rock, so he pulls out his pet Glock.
Why did the woman feel ugly?
A. Nobody would even rape her.
What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?
"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."
I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled, "Hot wheels!"
What has more brains than a student in a school shooting? The wall behind them.
What do you call a nine year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint the wall?
A: Depends how hard you throw them.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is just a watermelon.
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?
A boner.
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help her check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.
What's more fun than nailing a baby to the floor?
Ripping it off with a kick!