Violence jokes
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got shot. Dumb bitch!
When the school shooter drops his gun, and the autistic kid picks it up thinking it’s his long lost nerf gun.
"Killed two birds with one stone"? Pfft, I once killed two people with one bullet.
Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."
Rape humor is not funny. Like if you agree.
Jack and Jill went up to an abandoned house.
Jack drank too much and unzipped his fly. Jack said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "No." So Jack locked both of them in the house and put a gag in Jill's mouth, tied her to a bed. He ripped off her dress and underwear. He took off his pants and his underwear too, then put on a condom. He then put a pill in her mouth and made her swallow. One minute later she was asleep. He took off her gag and mounted himself on her, then stuck his "candystick" in her mouth, next her fanny. Then his condom broke, but he was too drunk to notice. Nine months later a baby's born and Jack's in jail as the father.
A bully chokes me. I simply say, "Joke's on you, I like being choked!"
Why are all these pathetic jokes about school shootings?😒 You all are so fucking pathetic... Humanity is officially gone, stupid bitches...
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how big they are and how hard you throw them.
I like my women like I like my eggs.
Beaten against a table until her insides come out.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
What's the best way to get them out?
A blender.
I saw a guy beat his girlfriend to a pulp after his girlfriend threw a phone in his face. I offered to call an ambulance, but he said he was fine.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them, with fuck.
What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?
Nothing.
Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.
First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!" SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?" HE: "I’m a butcher." SHE: "Perfect! I work with humans, I just kill them by cutting them up!"
HE: "So it's you in the newspaper?" SHE: "Yes, it was, wanna be next?" HE: "No!"
What did the guy tired of hearing people joke about rape do?
He killed everyone on this f#cking website.
You're walking into a bar and you see 2 younger kids around 18. You call the manager to have them removed, but no one came down.
Later that night, you see the 2 18-year-olds, 1 was a girl and the other was a boy, so you call the manager down. No one came again. You confront them and tell them to leave, but one turns around and hits you. You are knocked out on the floor. When you wake up, there is a hard feeling in your a**. You turn your head around and there is an autistic girl with a strap-on in your a** going full on hard.
Why do lesbians have the highest rate of domestic violence?
Because women are emotional and full of drama.
When I was younger, I thought that it was cool to use knives because kids used to ask me to use them.
By the way, have you seen my sister?