Violence

Violence jokes

Baby

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

Phone

I was at my boyfriend's house, and I thought he was cheating on me. He was on the phone with somebody, and he said he'd be over there soon. So I asked him if I could see his phone. He said no, and then we fought about it until I saw his gun, and because I thought he was lying to me, I shot him, went through his phone, and his friend was still on the phone.

Mother

Why did Brandon's mum chase him with a knife? Because he didn't let her cum first!

Orphan

If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

Banana

Why don’t you peel a banana?

It’s too hard to kill your nana.

Rose

Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"

Foot

What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 7 feet?

The finish line at the marathon bombing.

Blood

Roses are red... blood is too... I wonder how blood would look on you.

Terrorist

Why did the terrorists crash?

They were doing the job they loved but not getting paid.

Lol.

Gangster

How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

35! Do you have a problem with that?

Sister

There were two sisters. They said they were supporting nine eleven, so I shot one of the sister's kneecaps, and the other sister got shot in the head.

Kid

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

Punchline

So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.

That’s the punch line.