What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red?
My ex-wife.
There were two sisters. They said they were supporting nine eleven, so I shot one of the sister's kneecaps, and the other sister got shot in the head.
So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.
That’s the punch line.
I'll slit your throat and kick you in the gut till you die one time.
Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?
A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.
Why is black mystery not an Airheads flavor? Because we already know what happened to them. *shot fires*
My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.
She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."
God bless the shooting that happened.
Why didn’t the orphan play baseball?
Because I took the bat and swung it at their kneecaps, and now they can’t run. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Roses are red... blood is too... I wonder how blood would look on you.
Roses are red, My cat try to kill your next >:)
This black dude goes up to an Indian guy and says, "What up brotha?"
The Indian guy gets offended and says, "We are not the same."
The black guy then pulls out a gun, and the Indian guy says, "Ok brother, ok brother, we are the same, we are the same."
Do the voice in your head.
Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?
I put a pipe bomb in an orphanage. 🤡🤡
My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.
After the school shooting, Joe pretended to be a victim while his sister ate the flesh of the fallen.
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.
Why was the American kid late to school?
Because he was too busy putting on his bulletproof vest.
Why did the terrorists crash?
They were doing the job they loved but not getting paid.
Lol.
