Violence jokes
Me: Hi, my name is...
Bro: Hey guys! So who are you?
Me: Hey, stop dude!
Bro: How is it going, bro--
Me: SHUT UP!
Bro: Is that a gun?
Me: *Pointing at bro*
Bro: Dude, I'm...
Me: *BANG* *BANG*
Me: Finally, it's over.
An autistic kid hit me, so I kicked him back and he died.
What is 1 + 1?
They didn’t tell me. Their stomach is upset.
Jack and Jill went up to an abandoned house.
Jack drank too much and unzipped his fly. Jack said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "No." So Jack locked both of them in the house and put a gag in Jill's mouth, tied her to a bed. He ripped off her dress and underwear. He took off his pants and his underwear too, then put on a condom. He then put a pill in her mouth and made her swallow. One minute later she was asleep. He took off her gag and mounted himself on her, then stuck his "candystick" in her mouth, next her fanny. Then his condom broke, but he was too drunk to notice. Nine months later a baby's born and Jack's in jail as the father.
I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."
Memes
Rape is so outdated, but when you pay them money, it is a popular date!
Gun + Backpack = Fun!
George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.
The kids at Robb Elementary School went in to read books. Instead, they got dozens of magazines.
What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?
Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 😂
I gotta do terrorist :)
Q. What do rapists fear more than rabies?
A. Rape babies.
What do Call of Duty players say when they shoot up a school?
654-721-8940
(If you understand the joke, you're a god.)
When the school shooter finds you under the table,
"Wonderful weather we're having!"
When the school shooter kills five people, and the autistic kid yells, "Heroes never die!"
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.
What was the last thing that went through JFK's mind? A bullet.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One, if you throw it hard enough.