Violence jokes
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
What did the teacher say when he raped his naughty student?
"Face the wall!"
How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?
They slash them.
An apple a day keeps a doctor away... at least if you throw it hard enough.
What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?
A nun with a javelin through her neck.
If she refuses to suck and threatens to bite, just knock her teeth out. Call it the “Bloody Gummer”.
Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
Poor bastard.
The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.
One time, Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise.
No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style.
His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.
Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed.
What is worse: 10 babies stapled to 1 tree, or 1 baby stapled to ten trees?
If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor? You nail its other hand to the floor.
Ooohhh look, an orphan! Let's go beat him up.
I'll break your bones, b*tch.
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
Q: Why did Sally fall off the building?
A: Her dad pushed her.
What are American schools?
Shooting ranges.
I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.