Violence jokes
I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.
People are like trees...
If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they'll fall over.
What is red and white and goes 200 mph?
A baby in a blender.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan?
Because they can't call their parents.
Q. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Gotta be more than 9 'cause my basement is still dark.
I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.
Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!
So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.
1 hour before:
So let me get...
Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!
Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the look on its face as you climax.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What did the rape victim give to her rapist?
Head.
When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,
but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.
*Is honestly the best policy.*
Katsuki Bakugou went into a bar and said: "Where is that damn nerd?!?". Everyone was confused.
Bakugou says: "Tell me where Deku is or I'll kill you!" He kills them all because they all have green hair.
When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*
You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!
A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.
He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"
Can I pin your corpse to a tree?
What do you tell a female with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.
Where in hell is Lee Harvey Oswald now when we need him?