Violence jokes

How do you kill a retard?

Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"

My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.

The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.

What's a suicide bomber's biggest fear?

Dying alone.

What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?

It becomes a flee market.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"

Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"

Quiet Kid: *reaches into bag*

Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN!

What happens when you put a baby in a blender?

The baby is a cherry smoothie.

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.

I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and roared, "Hot wheels!"

What are American schools?

Shooting ranges.

What do Americans call high school?

Shooting range.

The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.

What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer; the other's just a watermelon. 😁😁

What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.

If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.

Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.

Me: Stops the quiet kid from getting bullied.

Him: Don't come to school tomorrow, trust me.

Me: "/"