Violence jokes

What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?

It becomes a flee market.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"

What's a suicide bomber's biggest fear?

Dying alone.

Quiet Kid: *reaches into bag*

Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN!

What do Americans call high school?

Shooting range.

What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.

The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.

What happens when you put a baby in a blender?

The baby is a cherry smoothie.

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.

I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and roared, "Hot wheels!"

What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer; the other's just a watermelon. 😁😁

What are American schools?

Shooting ranges.

If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.

I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.

Me: Stops the quiet kid from getting bullied.

Him: Don't come to school tomorrow, trust me.

Me: "/"

Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?

Yo mama so ugly even bullets refuse to kill her.

Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"

We don't have school shooters; we have special ed breeches.