Violence jokes
What's meaner than taking candy from a baby?
Throwing the baby off a cliff.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how many you throw.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.
What's big and yellow...?
A bus full of kids.
I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"
(gun shot)
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!
What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.
So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.
Don't break girls' hearts. Break their legs instead. They're two.
I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.
My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!
What kind of punch do little kids give to other little kids? The Sandy Hook.
What do you do when you're bored?
Beat up an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
Sonic says if you're bored, go punch an orphan. I mean, what are they going to do, tell their parents?