Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
Violence Jokes
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
What is the difference between a broom and a mop?
It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.
The USA guaranteeing freedom of speech is the biggest joke I've heard... Tell that to the people who were almost killed because their cars had "NASCAR Sucks" and "Country and Western is rubbish" on them!
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
No, I don't want to fight, so I shall kill you (so we won't fight)!
Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream was shot.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.
Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
What is a terrorist's favorite song?
"Pumped Up Kicks."
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
What's the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it's not funny anymore.
