Violence Jokes

School shooting: Happens.

Foreign Exchange Student: Starts sobbing under desk.

American Student: "First time?"

"Hola, soy Dora. Do you see the cliff? Say, "backpack." Tell her that we need Amanda. While I push her off the cliff, you will not peek. Did you just peek? Close your eyes, you silly goose." The end.

Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?

Chuck Norris strangled someone with a cordless phone.

So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?

The Western Front is domestic violence.

What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?

A nun with a javelin through her neck.

So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.

I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.

1, 2, I have a gun.

3, 4, I am in a school.

5, 6, Everyone on the ground!

A brunette fought and didn't get raped.

A blonde thought and did get raped.

Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?

Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?

What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?

It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

What do you call an autistic kid coming to school with a gun?

Special Forces incoming!

Walked in to a gun store, everything was half off.

I didn't know back-to-school shopping started.

Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...

Well nvm, they shot him dead.

Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.

You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.

"Dinosaur killing with a 2x4, no more purple dinosaur!"

My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.

One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.

I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!