Violence jokes
This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"
So I did...
I don't remember much after that.
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
"I will kill you with knife and gun, get ready, Explain Bear, stupid f***."
Why did the suicide bomber get promoted?
Because he was blowing up at work. 💀😈
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a Glock aimed at you.
Why are clips 30 rounds? Because that's the average class size.
Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
Roses are red, peanuts are tan. I am joining the Ku Klux Klan.
Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?
Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!
My friend said she wanted to fly, so I pushed her off a building.
My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.
So I threw him out the window!
"A llahu Aks into a bar..."
And it blows up!
Diddy and Hawk Tuah walk into a bar. Hawk Tuah says, "Spit on that thang!" Only one walks out. 💀
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.