Violence jokes
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
No, I don't want to fight, so I shall kill you (so we won't fight)!
Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream was shot.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.
Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
What is a terrorist's favorite song?
"Pumped Up Kicks."
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
What's the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it's not funny anymore.
Why the hell would I go to a shooting range when I could go to school and do it for free?
There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”
Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?"
Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me."
The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything."
The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too.'"
My therapist told me, "Time to heal all wounds," so I shot him in the nuts.
Now we wait...
What is a terrorist's first move in chess?
C4.
My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.
Mr. Beast challenge in Memphis be like: last one to survive the shooting wins 1 million dollars.
"Daveon, stop screaming for help because I broke your kneecaps!"