Vehicle jokes
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-kart.
Why did the car drive over the cake?
'Cause it was in tiers!! Lol, sorry this ain't funny.
What is the difference between a human and a magic car 🚗?
A magic car can fly, and a house 🏡 cannot fly.
What did one traffic light say to the other?
"Stop looking, I am changing."
How many gears does a French tank have?
One forward and six reverse.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
Man: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About three foot, why?
Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!
Poor car.
What did the bus driver say to the lady with one leg?
Hop on.
What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance?
They both take it in the back and go woop woop.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently, they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat vehicles and tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.
What is the difference between a human and a magic car?
A magic car can fly, and a human cannot fly.
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
Curry in a hurry.
What do you call a school bus driver that keeps going to sleep? A monster.
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.
A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?