Vehicle jokes
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
What's a kidnapper's favorite White Vans?
My bumper sticker says: "👋FORMER BABY ON BOARD."
My heart is like a plane.
It crashes every once in a while.
What is yellow and brings kids to school every day?
What's yellow and can't float?
A school bus full of children.
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage...
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?
A tire.
(A tire as in clothes and the tire? U get it? No? I'm lonely. Add me on Xbox: DECIMUS PAX)
Boy: Crap, I hit a deer.
Girl: Awe... I guess it’s not so much of a dear.
Boy: ...
Boy: Get the hell out!
What do you get if you cross hot wheels, hot legs? Hehe.
An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"
Kids in the backseat make accidents, but accidents in the backseat make kids.
What's the difference between a sports car and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a sports car in my garage.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.
She needs a flat surface cleaner.
What is a pirate's favorite ride? A carrr!
What kind of shoes do kidnappers wear?
White vans.
What do you call Stephen Hawking's toes on fire?
Hot Wheels.