Vehicle jokes

My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.

I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.

Why did the car fall asleep?

Because he was too tired.

What is a dog that you can drive?

A big doggy car.

What begins in F and ends in UCK?

Fire truck.

I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.

Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was and pointed to me. I pushed him out of the car, and my other boyfriend took the front seat.

What is the skeleton's favorite car?

A Zam-bone-y.

Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?

IHOP

I had a dream about a car, and I woke up exhausted.

Q) What did the airplane say to the little boy?

A) Nothing, airplanes don't talk!

I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any--let's just say I lost my job as a bus driver.

What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human can walk and you can drive.

What's Yellow and can't swim?

A bus full of dead babies.

What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?

I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

What is the difference between a human and a magic car 🚗?

A magic car can fly, and a house 🏡 cannot fly.

A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.

The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"

The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."

The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"

The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."

At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."

The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."

I know a Chinese joy rider, Tommy Tookamotor.

What’s yellow and can’t swim??

A school bus with elementary kids.

You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.

Who's the bus driver?

You will never nose [know].

What did the bus driver say to the car?

"What is your address?"

Why did the bike fall over?

Because it was two tired!