A missionary was caught by cannibals. He was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, "You can't stew me. I'm a friar."
What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Where can you find the freshest vegetables? A school for the disabled!
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
My disabled dad went to the grocery store.
He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.
Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.
Why is there air conditioning at a hospital?
To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
Yum!
What do you call a retarded cow?
Vegan (vegetable).
Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
What does the beet DJ say when he's partying?
"Dance to the beet, y'all!"
Who is the coolest vegetable?
Rad-ish, of course!
There is one difference between autistic kids and vegetarians.
They're both vegetables in serotonin ways.
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.
What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in?
Vat-I-cans!
What is Beethoven's favorite vegetable?
Beets.
What do you call a homosexual in a coma?
A fruit and a vegetable!
I like to eat mom's spaghetti. Now try it with the NEWWWW VEGETTIIII, turn any vegetable into pasta!
I suck big weiner.
