Vegetable jokes
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
What do you call a eatable door?
- Coriander 😂
Daikon legs.
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cabbage.
Cabbage who?
Cabbage doesn’t have a last name.
I cried while my parents were cutting onions... onions was such a good dog.
Why is there A/C in hospitals?
So the vegetables stay nice and fresh.
What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?
I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
What's the difference between an office worker and a vegetable?
They both sit in "wheelchairs," but only one can get out of it.
I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
What is big and long and hard?
A cucumber!
I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.
Guess who likes vegetables now?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Broccoli.
Broccoli who?
Broccoli hasn’t got a surname!
What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?
Lettuce eat Brussels!
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.
Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!