Vegetable jokes
What do you call a baby potato?
Small fry!
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
Memes
Q) What’s the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
A) About 400 calories.
What is long, hard and has cum in it? Cucumber.
What is a 3 letter word that starts with S ends with X and has a vowel? Six.
What's the difference between babies and onions?
You don't cry cutting up babies.
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
What’s the hardest part about making vegetable soup?
To put the wheelchair in the pot.
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Potato.
Did you hear about the race of the tomato and lettuce? Well, the lettuce was winning and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
What did the sweet potato say to the potato when he was told to hurry?
I yam.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂
Last time Kenny ate a vegetable, he got banned from his mom's nursing home.
Why are hospitals always freezing?
They need to keep the vegetables cold.