Vegetable jokes
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
Q) What’s the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
A) About 400 calories.
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
Memes
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
What is long, hard and has cum in it? Cucumber.
What is a 3 letter word that starts with S ends with X and has a vowel? Six.
What's the difference between babies and onions?
You don't cry cutting up babies.
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
What’s the hardest part about making vegetable soup?
To put the wheelchair in the pot.
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
Potato.
Did you hear about the race of the tomato and lettuce? Well, the lettuce was winning and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
What did the sweet potato say to the potato when he was told to hurry?
I yam.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂
Last time Kenny ate a vegetable, he got banned from his mom's nursing home.
Why are hospitals always freezing?
They need to keep the vegetables cold.
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.