Vegetable jokes
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
What do you call a baby potato?
Small fry!
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
What’s the hardest part about making vegetable soup?
To put the wheelchair in the pot.
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
Q) What’s the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
A) About 400 calories.
What is long, hard and has cum in it? Cucumber.
What is a 3 letter word that starts with S ends with X and has a vowel? Six.
What's the difference between babies and onions?
You don't cry cutting up babies.
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?
A: A tater tot.
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
Did you hear about the race of the tomato and lettuce? Well, the lettuce was winning and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
What did the sweet potato say to the potato when he was told to hurry?
I yam.
What do you get when you combine a penis and a potato?
A dictator.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂
Potato.