Use Jokes

I saw stephen king using an atm it is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down

So one day, I took a trip to Russia, and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any body guards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days. After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I had said yes, and the officer said god help us. So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent, and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said. I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy. He said we did, and that we were extremely drunk.

What happend when obama ran for president ?

The whole us thought holy hell its osama bin laden thought he was dead.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called 'serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.

Why is that a joke?

Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.

Why is that a joke?

Dude come on you want to start your day off happy or not?

Why is that a joke?

She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.

No seriously dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

One apple a day keeps the doctor away, not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.

why did he go to hell because he couldnt use the stirs to heven

Your friend took a shower and used Pantene but i got a watermelon to keep me clean

Why couldn't the orphan use the swing, because they had no arms.

I used to work at a candlestick factory, but only on the wickends! It was illuminating !

Gwen we can chat in 2 mounths my aunt just died from covid and is talking forever for us too get there to californa I love you your boyfriend prince!

A woman once didn't return home for the night and the next morning when she arrived home her husband started questioning her about where has she been. She lied saying she slept at one of her friends. The man proceeded to call all her friends all of which denied her sleeping at them the previous night.

Meanwhile, somewhere else, a man didn't return home to his wife for the night either. The following morning his wife started questioning him and he lied saying he slept at a friend. She proceeded to call all his friends. All of them said that he indeed slept at them the previous night and one of them even insisted that he's still there, but he's using the bathroom and he can't talk right now!