Use Jokes

Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism Teacher: What? Boy: Well... Never mind, he's well supported

Free will is like having a vagina you don't need to know how to use it and you don't need to know what it does but what matters is that you have it.

85% of us are good at school while the other 15% is good at suicide

( teach me your ways 15% )

What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair

A baby using a potato peeler and a comb

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What phone do midgets use?

A MICROphone

I have a confession. I used to be a Christian don’t bother me none babe Awesome! I much prefer being a Christine! “hol up”

I always use chloroform when stealing a child

This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say open wide for the delicious plane.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Teacher: “Alright we’re going to play Kahoot! Please use your real name”

That one kid putting Joe: -_-

Teacher: Who’s Joe?

The whole class: JOE MAMA

In a world bizarre, Penis burgers, strange delight, Tantalizing taste.

Buns shaped curiously, Meat, a bold centerpiece, Lingering delight.

Sizzling grill, they sizzle, Juicy secrets unfold, Hidden pleasures found.

Tempting, yet absurd, Controversial cuisine, Curiosity piques.

Daring, adventurous, Palates embark on a quest, Uncharted flavors.

But let us not dwell, On the phallic form they hold, For taste transcends all.

Beyond flesh-shaped buns, Flavors dance upon our tongues, A feast for senses.

So let us partake, In this culinary art, With open-minded hearts

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Hey guys, I just wanna say I say what happened to Kanye, he is one of my favorite rappers and he’s going through a hard time. I don’t see why people can’t just spread love and kindness like me💕

I think that Kanye was right to say what he said, I completely support him and I don’t understand why people hate on him for using his 1st amendment and Yeezy should be sued for it.

Quote of the day: love bests hate as for hate is the killer of friendships-Collin Kaepernick

so my dad walks into a bar and there was a hooker and a child i was with him and they both approached us and they said only £50 for head but it was a little weird that the child was talking to my dad and the hooker was talking to me i was about to say something but my dad pushed me over and my friends uncle killed my dad . the kid was never seen again . her name was Madeleine McCann i think im the only one who knows where she is but overall the head from the hooker was good

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheese burgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through. So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress I guess :D

In fields of gold, where sunshine beams, Monkeys swing and play, it's their dreams. Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, Picking cotton with delight.

Their little hands so quick and neat, Plucking the cotton, can't be beat. They chatter and laugh, they dance and play, In the fields all day, they'll stay.

Their tails so long, their ears so big, They're quite the sight, it's quite a gig. They're busy as can be, you see, In the fields of cotton, they're free.

So let us marvel at these little thieves, In the fields of gold, they give and receive. Their antics bring us joy and delight, In the fields of cotton, they're always right.