Use jokes
How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:
What were Brian Cant's last words before he died?
"I used to do it, but now I cant!"
!!๏ธ!!๏ธHOLY FUCKING ๐๐ฆ SHIT!!๏ธ!!๏ธ!!๏ธ!!๏ธ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING ๐ฉ๐ AMONG ๐ฐ US ๐บ๐ธ REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1 ๐ฑ! ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ AMONG ๐๐จโโค๏ธโ๐จ๐ฉโโค๏ธโ๐ฉ US ๐จ IS THE BEST ๐๐ฏ FUCKING ๐ฆ๐๐ GAME ๐ฎ ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฏ RED ๐ด IS SO SUSSSSS ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ COME ๐ฆ๐๐โโ๏ธ TO MEDBAY AND WATCH ๐ ME SCAN ๐ ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ WHY ๐ก๐ค IS NO โ ๐ซ ONE 1๏ธโฃ FIXING ๐พ O2 ๐ พ ๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐คฌ๐ก OH ๐ YOUR ๐ CREWMATE? NAME ๐ EVERY ๐ฏ TASK ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ Where Any sus!โ โ Where!โ โ Where! Any sus!โ Where! โ Any sus!โ โ Any sus ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐! โ โ โ โ Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐ Where!โ Where! โ Where!Any susโ โ Any sus ๐ฆ! โ โ โ โ โ โ Where! โ Where! โ Any sus!โ โ โ โ Any sus ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐! โ โ Where!โ Any sus ๐ฆ! โ โ Where!โ โ Where! โ Where!Where! โ โ โ โ โ โ โ Any sus!โ โ โ Any sus!โ โ โ โ Where! โ Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! โ โ โ โ โ โ I ๐ฅ think ๐ค it was purple!๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐It wasnt me I ๐ was in vents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!๐๐คฃ๐๐คฃ๐๐คฃ๐๐๐๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐๐๐
Why do people say "cheese" in a camera?
Because they were using the computer.
I was staying over at my friend's; for the purpose of the joke, he shall be called Kian. It was 03:00 am and everyone else was asleep when I heard a soft banging on the wall. I left the room to inspect it. Kian lived with his grandad John Hauge; it was thought he had a huge slong.
The banging was getting louder, and so too was my heartbeat. I opened John's door and ventured into the room. John was fully naked. There was a glory hole through the wall where I could make it Kian's ass. This is what I have been waiting for. I rip off my shorts, which Ali G bought for me, and silently moved towards John. I shoved [my] 1-inch wonder in his ear. John furiously turned around and slapped me with his cock, "You little gimp, get on the bed."
Kian came in the room with a 2-litre bottle of Irn Bru. He demanded, "What the fudge are you doing?"
I replied smoothly, "Kian, you tracksuit warrior, you have a camel toe!"
Kian fires back, "Shut it, Paul, you have genital warts!"
John screams, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
He then gives us it so rough I can't walk the next day, but [I] feel pleasured for eternity.
By Lewis
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
I used to look up to my mom, but now that I am 12, I look down on her.
The Chinese food owner always brings us free food. I ask my sister why he does that. My sister said, "Love him long time."
In the realm of words, where thoughts take flight, A curious tale, strange as the night, Of Alex Fisher, with love so bizarre, For random Hitler lemons, bizarre but bizarre.
Free Verse, they say, this poem shall be, Unrestrained, unrhymed, flowing and free, Yet how to capture this perplexing love, For lemons and Hitler, soaring above?
Alex Fisher, a soul with peculiar taste, Finds joy in lemons with a sour embrace, And Hitler, a name that evokes dark pain, Inexplicably entwined, like wind and rain.
Randomness, the thread that weaves this tale, No logic, no reason, no rhyme to prevail, For who could fathom this peculiar love, Of lemons and Hitler, below and above?
Yet in the realm of words, where all is allowed, We explore the uncharted, the strange and the proud, And though this poem may bewilder and confuse, Let it remind us, acceptance we must choose.
For love knows no boundaries, no norms to abide, It transcends our expectations, with no need to hide, So let us embrace the quirks that make us unique, For in the tapestry of life, we find what we seek.
So here's to Alex Fisher, with love all their own, May they find happiness, wherever they've flown, In lemons and Hitler, a world so absurd, May their love be a reminder, that love has no words.
Q: How do you cover a Chinese's eyes?
A: Use dental floss.
Two persons were in a car. The brakes were broken and they were going so fast that they would crash and die.
The driver said: "Oh no! We will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied: "Don't panic, the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."
Why did the first boob say to the 2nd boob: "Between us, I have to take a tit."
Use the roast I put of flat earth.
Osama be like: "Fuck boys, runway is full, better use this tower!"
Why was Stephen Hawking arrested? The police used computer GPS.
"History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."
I was doing a 10km run with my good friend Pessi. As we were setting up our smart watches, the watch voice asked us if we wanted to do a solo run or a group run.
Pessi proceeded to smash both our watches and shout, โI donโt want solo run, I want Penalty!โ
Shame on you, Pessi!
You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldnโt find you.
What what's the cloud private place to go? Among us, cows.
"Among Us" tea water.