Straw

Straw jokes

Baby

    • How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?

    A blender.

    How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.

    Straw memes

    Ice Cream

    • An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"

    Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"

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    • Rainbow

    • So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculates in a female's mouth and she swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other, swishing it together in each other's mouth, and it forms a rainbow.

    And a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on a female's face and then punches her in the nose, causing her to bleed. That's why it's called a strawberry shortcake.

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    • Life

    • Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes.

    Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato.

    Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer.

    My life is like... the shoe rack-

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    • Baby

    • How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.

    How do you get them back out? Straw.

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    • Straw memes

    Community talk

    • If you’re ever bored here’s a list of fun things to do. 1) Pulling teeth out of a deer’s mouth 2)Asking “why” until someone runs out of answers and starts sobbing uncontrollably 3)Bending your fingers backwards as far as you can 4)Eating childhood memories 5)Making time stop forever 6)Transforming into whatever form people fear most 7)Silly straws

    • GENESIS 24 Isaac and Rebekah 1Abraham was now very old, and the Lord had blessed him in every way. 2He said to the senior servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had, “Put your hand under my thigh. 3I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, 4but will go to my country … Read more

    • Shower Thoughts:

    - Cheating in exams is just studying at the wrong time. - Parents are the opposite of fake friends. They have your back when you aren't there and talk shit about you to your face. - Technically, the biggest difference between surfing and snowboarding is just the temperature of the water. - If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie? - Does a straw have one hole or two? - Can you daydream at night? - When you’re alone in a room, you’re the only person in the world who can see what you can. - Millions of people are in synchronization with your breathing right now.

    Community