Teacher: We have a new student today class, come introduce yourself.
Student: My name is Buttitches.
Teacher: Please tell us your real name.
Student: Buttitches.
Teacher: I’m calling the police.
Police: Son, please tell me your real name or I’m going to shoot you.
Student: Buttitches.
Police: *shoots gun.*
A few days later, the police go to the funeral and sits behind the mom. While crying, the mom says, "My Buttitches!" The police say, "We’ll scratch it, lady."
Why couldn't the orphan use the swing? Because they had no arms.
One apple a day keeps the doctor away; not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.
Why did he go to hell? Because he couldn't use the stairs to Heaven.
Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.
I used to work at a candlestick factory, but only on the wickends! It was illuminating!
Gwen, we can chat in 2 months. My aunt just died from COVID, and it is taking forever for us to get there to California. I love you, your boyfriend, Prince!
A woman once didn't return home for the night, and the next morning when she arrived home, her husband started questioning her about where she had been. She lied, saying she slept at one of her friends' houses.
The man proceeded to call all her friends, all of whom denied her sleeping at their places the previous night.
Meanwhile, somewhere else, a man didn't return home to his wife for the night either. The following morning, his wife started questioning him, and he lied, saying he slept at a friend's house. She proceeded to call all his friends. All of them said that he indeed slept at their places the previous night, and one of them even insisted that he's still there, but he's using the bathroom and he can't talk right now!
Poopy pants! Ha! Got 'em! Use Code Fred_5001 in the Fortnite item shop.
My dad always used to beat me, but he never beat cancer.
Q:Why do women only use there lefts A:because they don't have any rights
Two kids were beating up a kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
im in school lol
What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.
Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?
Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.
Daughter: So she only loves my sister?
Dad: Yep.
I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a dick in the ass.
What did Columbus use to cross the ocean?
He used a bus.
Why did the farmer's wife chase the chickens out of the yard?
'Cause they were using fowl language!
Gwen I set out some chats for us just got to pr!
Btw I can't chat because I lost my internet stuff, so I am using my school computer. I don't have long, but I will make sure to have some time 4 u.
"Zre, um, be careful when using a gun, okay? And meh not fat, boy."
Helen Keller can use Hodled's words because they are so bad.
