I asked my wife if i could use toys during sex last night you should've see her face when i rolled my hotweels across her tits
Whenever I have a one night stand I always use protection
A fake name and fake phone number.
The twin towers and genders have alot in common, there used to be two and now.. its just a touchy subject.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make sour patch kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make sour patch kids
Daughter: Oh that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
This isn't a joke but
I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny so please leave the people writing these alone 😭
i used keep asking a woman if i can rape her until she got so annoyed and said "stop asking me"
I wanted to see if she was Anorexic, So I through a Funyun at her to see if she'd use it as a Hula hoop or inhale it.
I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep
What do depressed people use for emotions online
They use EMOjis
Q.What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A. A seatbelt.
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her "Don't worry I used to work with kids."
What shampoo does stephen hawkings use? Head & Shoulders
Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.
What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.
What do EMO kids use as birth control? Their Personalities.
Why don't midgets use tampons? Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
Girls are like math, if theyre under 10 use your fingers
For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.