Use jokes

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Teacher: “Alright, we’re going to play Kahoot! Please use your real name.”

That one kid putting Joe: -_-

Teacher: Who’s Joe?

The whole class: JOE MAMA!

I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.

I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.

Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.

I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.

My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.

Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.

You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!

I used to be a doctor, until a girl came in to get a kidney transplant, but I had to give her anal resizing surgery first.

To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)

Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.

My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.

I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.

What does the pedophile use for bait? Trix!

What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!

They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.

Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.

When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?

When it's not raining.

"{[(Log date) 11 22 3] The Beginning} "This marks the first ever log of the Underground Fruit Association of n&c (ugfa). N, being code name for Nathaniel, and C, being code name for Connor. Our plan is to collect as many fruit cups as possible by the end of the year. This site will be a communication hub only and used for nothing else. We will plan and discuss courses of action, and collection." End of log"

There is a man in the hospital. The power went out, and the man was stabbed to death. There are three witnesses: the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who who was at the vending machine. Who killed the man?

The mom did, because you can’t use a vending machine when the power's out!

I would try to stop rapists, but force would be an option for it.

Helen Keller can use Hodled's words because they are so bad.

Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because he’s used to being in the teens.

Why don't you use a dull pencil?

Because there's no point. 😐😑😑

What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.