Q. Why was the orphan unable to use the phone?
A. He was trying to phone home.
Use Jokes
Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?
Because they don't know how to use the home button.
An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Biden, no cash, and no hope.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricant.
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."
I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.
All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."
A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.
What do you call a U.S. border hopper?
A Mexican jumping bean.
When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.
An African man visits his friend in the US.
“I just flew in yesterday,” the African man says. “And boy are my arms tired!”
“You know, that’s kind of an old joke here in America,” replied his friend.
“Joke?” the African man said. “I’ve been holding my hands in the air yelling ‘don’t shoot’ ever since I got to this damn country!”
A blonde walks into the doctor's office. She tells the doctor, "My boyfriend has dandruff."
The doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the doctor's phone rings. He answers, it's the blonde. The doctor asks how he can help her. "Well doctor, I understand head, but how do you 'hove' shoulders?"
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.
How do you know if someone is anorexic? You toss them a onion ring and see if they eat it, or use it as a hula hoop.
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
Hello guys, imagine if we had no school and we get to do whatever we want without parents telling us what to do! What place would you want to call it and what would the fun things we get to do be? I would call it "Happy world for kids." Leave a comment telling me what it would be called! Enjoy! :)
