Use jokes
What's the easiest way to get straight A's? Use a ruler.
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
A telescope has two uses:
1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.
Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.
Why was the piano waiting at the front door?
Because it forgot which key to use!
What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.
Why was the chicken in trouble?
For using fowl language!
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
What type of flour do orphans use to bake with...? Self-raising flour!
Why do orphans use iPhone X's?
Because they can't find home.
I used to be into fitness. But running from my problems got exhausting.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
What pronouns would Michael Jackson have used as a Gender Identifier?
“He/he.”
How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?
Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.
Your hairline design was used as the Batman logo!
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
Yo mama so fat that the US (Mexico) and North Korea (South Korea) got into a war fighting over who gets to use her as their border wall.
Yo mama so fat,
Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.