Use

Use jokes

Pilot

  • A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick.

    The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,

    "Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."

    Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane, and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin.

    The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,

    "Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second-best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."

    At this point, the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more, and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed, and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!"

    Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.

    The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."

  • 1
  • Face

  • Anybody can use this :)

    Slow and steady wins the race, but it won't fix your ugly face. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

    Son

  • I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.

  • 1
  • Cage

  • When you're in a cage But it's not real!

    Being in a cage But you have the key.

    Being in a cage But nobody sees you.

    Being outside of a cage, but it's empty.

    Living and realizing you've been born into one.

    Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**.

    But you can't live without them.

    The cage Is you. You have the key But you don't know how to use it.

  • 1
  • Dark Humor

  • Rules of Dark humor:

    1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.

    2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.

    3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that.

    I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.

    - Sincerely, Zane

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  • Chat

  • Gwen I set out some chats for us just got to pr!

    Btw I can't chat because I lost my internet stuff, so I am using my school computer. I don't have long, but I will make sure to have some time 4 u.