Use jokes
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
I used to be into fitness. But running from my problems got exhausting.
I would try to stop rapists, but force would be an option for it.
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said, "Okay class, what's behind my back?" She said, "It's round and red," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's an apple!" And the teacher said, "No, but I like where you're going with this." So now the teacher said, "It is also used to make multiple things," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's a container of paint!" And the teacher said, "Again, no, but I like where you're going with this." And the teacher said, "It's a ball of yarn," as she pulled it out from behind her back. Then Little Johnny said, "Okay, my turn." He said, "What's in my pocket? It's round and it has a head." And the teacher said, "That's enough, Johnny, now sit down." And Little Johnny pulled the thing out of his pocket and said, "It's a nickel, but I like where you're going with this."
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.
You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!
Yo mama so fat, she uses the Gulf of Mexico as her hot tub!
What is more used than plastic?
Hookers.
Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.
Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap.
He was high on my list of priorities.
I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..\n\nI now suffer from anxiety AND depression :\
A wild Iceberg appears! Titanic uses ram! It is not very effective. (Titanic sinks.)
I am only here because me no like Blues Clues LGBTQ episode as I don’t believe in that. If you do, ok.
And it shouldn’t be a month, the month should be for all of the war veterans, it should be a day for pride. Companies only use this month for money; it’s exploitation because they don’t truly support, unlike me, in which I don’t support it.
I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me.
What do Michelangelo and Hitler have in common?
They both used their brain to paint the ceiling.
How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? -- Use a news anchor.
One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate'"
I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.