Use jokes
You use your legs as support, you count on your fingers.
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?
What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?
They're both gay and use knives.
Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.
I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.
Why can’t orphans use computers?
Because they don’t have a homepage.
How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?
Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.
What do you call a wizard who uses Ice Magic? A: A Blizzard!
Setting: Funeral Home
Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.
Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.
Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?
Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.
Customer: Okay?
Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.
By: MiniMemorials.com
What do people use more than you that is yours?
Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.
Y'all, I'm suspended till Wednesday and can't do much cuz I'm on a tablet, not my computer. Tell autterpop I won't be on till Wednesday or after.
You know I used to call my dogs' balls the Twin Towers, until they came rumbling down.
What did a jockey's manager say to him before the race?
"Use the horse!"
Yo mama is so poor, she buys used food.
My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?
Why couldn't the orphan use the swing? Because they had no arms.
Poopy pants! Ha! Got 'em! Use Code Fred_5001 in the Fortnite item shop.
How did Stephen Hawking really die?
His wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything!