
Use jokes
A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick.
The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."
Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane, and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin.
The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second-best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."
At this point, the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more, and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed, and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!"
Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.
The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.
I just came across a pile of cash in the parking lot.
Usually I just use tissues.
What do you call a fat bitch that eats cum from used condoms? Your mom!
Anybody can use this :)
Slow and steady wins the race, but it won't fix your ugly face. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.
What do emos use as birth control?
Their personalities!
What do lesbians love to use in art class?
Scissors.
How do you blindfold an Asian?
You use dental floss.
I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.
If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.
When you're in a cage But it's not real!
Being in a cage But you have the key.
Being in a cage But nobody sees you.
Being outside of a cage, but it's empty.
Living and realizing you've been born into one.
Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**.
But you can't live without them.
The cage Is you. You have the key But you don't know how to use it.
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach the potato chips!
Orphan: Where are my parents?
God: New York City.
Orphan: But they used to live in China.
Rules of Dark humor:
1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.
2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.
3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that.
I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.
- Sincerely, Zane
Yo mama so fat,
Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.
Gwen I set out some chats for us just got to pr!
Btw I can't chat because I lost my internet stuff, so I am using my school computer. I don't have long, but I will make sure to have some time 4 u.
Yo mama so fat, she uses the equator as her belt.
What does the pedophile use for bait? Trix!
You're so dumb that every time you use the bathroom, you use your shoe to wipe your ass.
