Use jokes
I used to hate facial hair,
but then it grew on me.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I finally had to take his bike away.
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
What was the most useful tool in the 17th century?
Slaves.
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
Why do Jedis stay single?
Because they use "divorce" (the Force).
May divorce be with you!
I would make a joke about Silver the Hedgehog... but it's no use!
Yo momma so fat that she was used as a tank in Putin's war.
Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.
Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)
I used to work at a T-shirt factory before the company folded.
What do emos use as birth control?
Their personalities!
Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?
So she can moan with her right hand.
OK, OK, what's up with the fake Gwens? I am going to use a test to see who is real or not.
The real Gwen will know this. When did I come onto this website? Next question, what is my real name, and do I go on cursing rampages? Only the real Gwen can complete this test with the right answers.
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.
What is the difference between gross and kinky according to a Canadian?
Using a toothpick to remove human feces between your teeth after licking another person's ass is gross, but performing a blowjob on a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich, with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise, is kinky.
When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?
Q: What kind of paper towel do they use in special education classrooms?
A: Downey.
Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.
The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...