Use jokes
My Grandma, like any other, got an APPLE IPHONE 12, but as we all know, we get dumb, and so we buy a phone. My grandma did not even know how to use it. She even said, "How do I go on Google?" I told her, "YOU CAN'T!" My grandma was, like, "Yeah right, how do I do it?"
Comment down below, does your grandma do this?
Condoms? HA! Those are for pussies!
I was born and raised in Newcastle.
My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.
Teacher: Johnny, can you use a sentence with "definitely" in it?
Little Johnny: Do farts have lumps in them?
Teacher: Of course not, Johnny.
Little Johnny: Then I’ve definitely shat myself.
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.
So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."
What weapon does a fat Jedi use?
A heavy saber.
How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? -- Use a news anchor.
What was one cool thing about Hitler?
He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.
Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.
Why are bees' hair sticky?
Because they use honeycombs!
What phone do midgets use?
A MICROphone.
What's white, red, blue, and brown all over?
The American flag I used to wipe my ass with.
Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
Please stop using this thread. It is cancer.
My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told my friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him to.
Confused, my friend asked me what it was. I told him, "The Sandy Hook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."
When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?