Use jokes
A little riddle...
Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?
...
Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?
Your mum is so bad at cooking, Gordon Ramsey brought back Hitler to show her how to use an oven.
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.
Gemini, it is you who is trying to start such a big mess for no reason. I never said it had a charm or a lead roll. I just want love and spread kindness. PS: I use my brain. I use it all the time, just for your information. I just hope we can be friends.
Best, Gwen
Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help."
Sister: "That’s my f***ing electric toothbrush!"
Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
When I was younger, I thought that it was cool to use knives because kids used to ask me to use them.
By the way, have you seen my sister?
When your husband can’t afford a punching bag, he uses his wife.
My gun is like my house, used to be full, now it's empty.
Tazzaro got me like: 😂
I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.
Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.
Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
Your mom is so ugly that she uses Snapchat filters to make her pretty.
I was going to kill them with kindness, but then I realized using a knife is a lot faster.
Ching chong kading dong.
(My best words ever used).
Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!
What's the difference between a used condom and the UCP?
The condom was actually useful at one point.