Use jokes
Condoms? HA! Those are for pussies!
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
There is a man in the hospital. The power went out, and the man was stabbed to death. There are three witnesses: the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who who was at the vending machine. Who killed the man?
The mom did, because you can’t use a vending machine when the power's out!
What weapon does a fat Jedi use?
A heavy saber.
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.
So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."
You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.
What was one cool thing about Hitler?
He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.
Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.
Teacher: Johnny, can you use a sentence with "definitely" in it?
Little Johnny: Do farts have lumps in them?
Teacher: Of course not, Johnny.
Little Johnny: Then I’ve definitely shat myself.
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? -- Use a news anchor.
Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.
Why are bees' hair sticky?
Because they use honeycombs!
What phone do midgets use?
A MICROphone.
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
What's white, red, blue, and brown all over?
The American flag I used to wipe my ass with.
I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..\n\nI now suffer from anxiety AND depression :\
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
Please stop using this thread. It is cancer.