Use jokes
Why do lawyers use Viagra? To grow taller.
I used to have an imaginary friend who I could talk to, and he could grant me wishes and stuff... and then I stopped going to church.
Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture?
A: One uses one nail to hang.
What flowers do orphans use?...
Self-raising flour.
When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.
I used to work for a company called 69. My friend took over my position.
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
What was the most useful tool in the 17th century?
Slaves.
Why don't they put petals on wheelchairs so when our arms get tired, we just use our legs?
KFC doesn’t use toilet paper because it is finger lickin' good!
They finally released the audio recording from the black box in Kobe’s helicopter.
Apparently when the helicopter caught fire, Kobe was sitting right next to the only fire extinguisher. You could hear everyone screaming for him to put out the fire, but he couldn’t figure out how to use it. They begged and pleaded for him to give the extinguisher to anyone else... the last thing you hear is Kobe saying “I’d rather die than pass it!”
"My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say, "Knock knock." We’d say, "Who’s there?" Then she’d say, "I can’t remember"... and start to cry."
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
Hello worstjokesever.com, I am not typing but instead using a microphone to speech, ding me a period.
I don’t see what’s coming up, but I don’t know why I am sending, so it will be random or funny or just stupid, LOL. So like and subscribe and...
Me: How does this thing work?
ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.
ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*
Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.
Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?
So she can moan with her right hand.
Why can't Asian people use a telephone?
Because they might wing the wrong number.
Why do orphans use iPhone X's?
Because they can't find home.
On a winter day many play.
Some with snow, and I with ice Used as a device to slice Somehow I'm colder now.
Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?
I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.