Use

Use jokes

Disco

  • What does a disabled disco play?

    "When your legs don’t work like they used to before."

  • 1
  • Pregnancy

  • The doctor says, "Your wife is pregnant." The man says that he used a condom and the doctor says, "Yeah, but I didn't."

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  • Family

  • 💔 The Broken Family 💔 . Part 1

    Girl: Mom, dad tried to have sex with me last night.

    Mom: Are you serious?? (Shocked)

    Girl: Yah. He said I must kiss him after he didn't want to let me go.

    Mom: Am gonna kill ur dad (Angry)

    Girl: Please mom, we still need him, who will buy use food and clothes. You don't have a job mom.

    Mom: But what he did was wrong.

    Girl: I know.

    (SOUND OF A CAR COMING IN)

    Mom: Is that ur dad.

    Girl: Yes Mom

    Comment Part 2

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  • Body

  • Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?

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  • Ninja

  • LEGO Ninjago - I like it, okay?

    Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?

    Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him. He uses hair gel, as Cole has said a couple times I think, because his hair looks like fire 🔥!

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  • Squirrel

  • Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂

    Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.

    Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.

    I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.

    I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

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  • Workout

  • Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.

    Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:

    1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps

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  • Priest

  • How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.

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