Use jokes
I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.
What do Diddy and Turkish men have in common?
They both use lots of oil.
Billy: "I'm so used to having you in bed with me, I don't know if I'm ready for this long-distance relationship."
Sally: "Ohh, don't worry brother, I'll just be right down the hall..."
Q: What kind of paper towel do they use in special education classrooms?
A: Downey.
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You make me pee like I drink tea, you make me go buzz, like becoming a fuzz.
It sticks in, but it goes to the bin, after its use, it will be reused, no it is not what your thinking its -~-(clay)-~-
The doctor says, "Your wife is pregnant." The man says that he used a condom and the doctor says, "Yeah, but I didn't."
Why couldn’t people use the George Floyd action figure? Because it was vacuum sealed.
A donut is not empty inside, that was a hole in the middle. If I'm a donut, the hole used to be where I put my feeling and happiness, but people snatch it away from me.
Anyway, can someone put a hole in my physical body too? I kinda wanted to see people cry for me just like how people cry for Ace from One Piece.
I used to be a doctor, until a girl came in to get a kidney transplant, but I had to give her anal resizing surgery first.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
I used to work at a bank, then I lost interest.
I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.
Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.
An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."
What brand of paint did Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch?
Dutch Boy.
Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?
I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.
Your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using Microsoft Paint.
Your hairline's so far back, I use it as a ruler to measure things.
Bleach solves so many problems:
Stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation of orphans.