Use jokes
People are pushing for a new black Lady Liberty coin. I can't wait to use black people as currency again.
Tried to kill myself today using a bungee cord, I kept ALMOST dying.
Setting: Funeral Home
Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.
Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.
Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?
Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.
Customer: Okay?
Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.
By: MiniMemorials.com
I used to be a banker...
But then I lost interest.
Rules of Dark humor:
1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.
2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.
3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that.
I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.
- Sincerely, Zane
🅱️haq
Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.
I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.
I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"
Stephen Hawking never used a condom. He used a firewall.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.
Yo mamma is so slutty, she uses a submarine as a dildo because it's long, hard, and filled with seamen.
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.
Person: Why'd you stop?
Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
Yo mama so fat...
That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!
Why don't a gun and an orphan have anything in common? The gun is actually useful.
Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.
What?
The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*
What should you do if you meet a giant? Use big words.
Ok, so I know most or all of you guys hate me, and that's fine. You guys most likely know me as a horrible person, which I don't know where you would hear that from.
And finally, I am truly a good person; you just need to know me better. The only reason I fought Tina and Jack was because I was trying to be nice to another guy. Then I realized what side I should have been on. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just I'm sorry, and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else, I think all are nice people; they just stick up for each other, and that's what I realized. So if you still hate me, it's fine; I'll be leaving this app soon, maybe. Hate makes me sad, even though I use it, but I know what was wrong. I want to join the good side, so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.
I used to be a fan, but after seeing her OnlyFans account, I'm a whole air conditioner.
Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.
I remember you. You used to be an ash.
I would love to roast you more, but my mom said to not burn trash.
This is the log reference. Use it to post your logs. Logs can be posted by Info Gatherers or Announcers.
/{[(Log date) -Month- -Year- -Day-] -Log Title- } "-Log Information- " End of Log
Thank you, -Connor