Use jokes
Yo Momma so slutty she uses a SpaceX rocket as a dildo.
What type of flour do orphans use to bake with...? Self-raising flour!
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.
You used to call me on your cellphone when you need my love.
Mad girl: SHUT UP! YOU ARE SO ANNOYING! I DON'T WANT TO CALL YOU ON MY CELL PHONE!
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.
The twin towers are like genders, there used to be two of them.
People are pushing for a new black Lady Liberty coin. I can't wait to use black people as currency again.
Kiwi's forehead is so big when he leaves to go to work he has to use a sunroof to drive. 😏
Tried to kill myself today using a bungee cord, I kept ALMOST dying.
Why did he go to hell? Because he couldn't use the stairs to Heaven.
Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A. A seatbelt.
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
What weapon does a fat Jedi use?
A heavy saber.
Your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using Microsoft Paint.
Rules of Dark humor:
1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.
2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.
3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that.
I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.
- Sincerely, Zane
If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?
Years of child support!
What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.
What is the origin of the glory hole?
The origins can be found in San Francisco, California, where historians claim that a meat thermometer was sticking out of a hole from both sides, especially the divider between bathroom stalls inside the men's restroom used for an anonymous massage for gay men by gay men in San Francisco, CA, in the Wild West.
How do you get a trans woman to commit suicide?
Use he/him pronouns on him.
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."