Use

Use jokes

Green Card

    • An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."

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    • Tricycle

    • A couple and their friends were riding their tricycle, and one wheel fell off. They discussed what to do, and finally the friend said, "Why don't you just use me?" The boyfriend said, "Why did I not think of using the third wheel?"

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    • Use memes

    Orphan

    • Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.

    Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."

    Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______

    New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.

    Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."

    Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.

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    • Use

    • Bertold Brecht & Tork Poettschke visit the places of their youth together. One says to the other: "Here used to be the Phoenix Lake. Where did he go?" "That was probably a pirate ..."

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    • Pineapple

    • Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?

    None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.

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    • Toilet Paper

    • 🤔 What do Polish people 🇵🇱 🇵🇱 🇵🇱 in Poland do with 📰 📰 📰 📰 newspapers 📰 📰 📰 📰 after they are done reading them?

    Use them for toilet paper. 🧻 🧻 🧻 🧻 😆 😄

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    • Baseball

    • Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).

    1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.

    3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.

    4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.

    5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!

    6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."

    7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.

    8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.

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