Use jokes

Hola! This is when I pranked my mom! I took a fake lobster and put it in the toilet. The fake lobster was in your attic, used for lobster parties, but anyway, I put the fake lobster in the toilet, so when my mom comes in she will find it and overreact to it. Well, she did not overreact, she FREAKED OUT OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First she screamed and then she looked at it and she saw it was fake. laterrrrrrr that's the prankster!

Dear Hearing People,

We, deaf people, ain’t dead. We can use our hands to talk, eat & fist your face to give you some 💡 awareness that we can understand you 💯 meanwhile we laugh at you 🤡 We can even dance via vibration through music.

Do you know the song w lyric like this 👇 *white b.... accent: Ohhh.. MY God BECKY.. L👀k at her butt. IT is SO BIG. *BIG BEAT DROP* I...LIKE...BIG...BUTT...I cannot LIE 👻 I promise we ain’t ghosting around - Brittany Rose.

Why are emos useful in stores? A: Their barcodes give them discounts.

You're so skinny my grandma gonna use you like a cane.

No means no, but if you use chloroform, it’s a guaranteed yes.

Jesus told the world if he had to pick a body all over again that he would pick himself! He believes he is (God's gift to this earth) the best looking, the smartest, pure perfection!

Hahaha LOL Jajaj.

And I Quote! "THAT'S WHY I PUT MYSELF NAKED ON THE CROSS IN CHURCHES TO SEE MY BODY !!!!"

GROSSEST, SCAREST, UGLIST, SLOPPY, DISRESPECTFUL, DISGUSTING, IT.

If he actually ate the bullshit that came out of his mouth, He wouldn't have made up satan! He wouldn't Rape us, He wouldn't embody us! He wouldn't try to be us! USING OUF VOICES! USING OUR SPIRIT!

1+1=3

If you don't use a condom.

What does a cow use in school? A cowculator.

I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.

He one day said his business was "remarkable."

What did Freddie Mercury use to improve his hearing?

Hearing AIDS.

Yo mama so fat, NASA used her stomach to jump to Uranus in seconds.

My proctologist used to be a photographer. He took x-rays and told me to bend over and say "cheese!"

Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.

How do orphans have a family reunion?

They use a Ouija board.

What do cows use for math? A cow-culator 😏

You wanna know the difference between a rake and your mom? The rake is actually useful.

Why can't orphans use a phone?

Because they don't have a home screen.

What do bicycles and slaves have in common? They both use chains to work.

Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?

When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.

I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep.