Use jokes
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
What hates socialism but still uses roads, police, and says they support the military?
Dumb right wingers.
Why don't you use a dull pencil?
Because there's no point. 😐😑😑
Yo mama is so hairy that she uses a lawn mower to shave.
Women: “Men used to go to war, now they go to clubs.”
Men: “Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked, now it’s $3.99.”
What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel.
What do LGBTQ+ people use as a weapon in THG (The Hunger Games)?
A rainbow.
What do you white people use as pronouns?
Crack/her.
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?
What do mermaids use to write with?
Sea pens.
Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!
A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.
Yo hairline was used as the blueprint for the Great Wall of China.
Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call.
He got hurt in a egg-cident, and it never got eggs-elent.
When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower.
It happened too fast, he watched the very last.
Next he died, eaten all fried.
The Twin Towers and genders have a lot in common. There used to be two, and now it's just a touchy subject.
I used to be a banker...
But then I lost interest.
What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.
Your forehead's so big, NASA uses it to test satellite signals.