Use jokes

What do cows use for math? A cow-culator 😏

You wanna know the difference between a rake and your mom? The rake is actually useful.

I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.

I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep.

I conducted a survey. I asked 100 women what kind of shampoo they used while they were in the shower? 98 of them said, "How the fuck did you get in here?" 😂😂😂

I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.

An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."

What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?

I know how to use an exercise band.

Men should provide their disobedient daughters with their own "milk" instead of letting them use the mother. That will teach those bitches some respect for men. It may even help them get laid later on in life.

Here are some skeleton jokes.

You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.

If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.

I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.

I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.

I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!

I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.

I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.

Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!

My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.

How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.

Long time since I made a joke, huh? I used a Time Machine to make this one.

For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.

Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.

What did Santa use as a candy cane?

Wait, wait, I said it wrong.

Okay.

What did Santa use to do his garden...never mind.

Would you mind just peeing into this cup, please? It's the one the annoying receptionist uses.

Yo momma so fat that she was used as a tank in Putin's war.

I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!

The parents used to hit him.

His parents got into a car crash and died.

He became an orphan in an orphanage. The people there hit him. He looked up and said "Parents?"