Use jokes
What do Diddy and Turkish men have in common?
They both use lots of oil.
Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?
Because they don't know how to use the home button.
What kind of paper towel do they use in special education classrooms?
Downey.
Q) What shampoo and conditioner did Stephen use?
A) Head and Shoulders.
Q) What’s Stephen’s favorite food?
A) Shoulders.
For real tho RIP Stephen Hawking 💕
I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.
Why use Heathrow when we have your forehead?
Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call.
He got hurt in a egg-cident, and it never got eggs-elent.
When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower.
It happened too fast, he watched the very last.
Next he died, eaten all fried.
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
I used to look up to my mom, but now that I am 12, I look down on her.
How do you know if someone is anorexic? You toss them a onion ring and see if they eat it, or use it as a hula hoop.
What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."
My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.
If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.
Bleach solves so many problems:
Stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation of orphans.
Women say men are trash.
Yet men made the phone, laptops, computer and electrical hardware she uses to say men are trash, never mind the electricity she uses to power those devices...
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
Roses are red, violets are blue, You make me pee like I drink tea, you make me go buzz, like becoming a fuzz.
It sticks in, but it goes to the bin, after its use, it will be reused, no it is not what your thinking its -~-(clay)-~-
Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.
Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.
The first kingdom was quite rich and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom was not so wealthy and sent only 10 knights, each with two squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner. The third kingdom was very poor and only sent one elderly knight with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a looped rope, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight’s armor.
The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought.
The battle raged well into the late hours, but when the dust finally settled, a solitary figure limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious.
And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
Who needs storage on a computer? Just use an Asian's brain.
Yo mama so poor, she used a KFC bucket as a rain hat.