Use jokes
The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear.
“I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?”
“From my father,” said Johnny.
“Well, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.”
“I do,” said Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”
Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight?
Sally's used to being blind!
Your forehead is so big, they used it for the Berlin Wall and the USA border.
What is the best shield to use during a battle? The emo kid.
Why do lawyers use Viagra? To grow taller.
Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?
Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.
One rainy day a NASCAR race was going on and they had no other choice but to use this bitch's forehead. https://sportsrecruits.com/athlete/morgan_tomporowski
A father tells his 10-year-old son...
"Sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on your cereal every morning and you will have a very long life."
His son followed his father's advice every morning without missing a day until he died at the age of 186, leaving behind 28 children, 67 grandchildren, 148 great-grandchildren, and a 7-foot crater where the crematory used to be.
A blonde walks into the doctor's office. She tells the doctor, "My boyfriend has dandruff."
The doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the doctor's phone rings. He answers, it's the blonde. The doctor asks how he can help her. "Well doctor, I understand head, but how do you 'hove' shoulders?"
Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?
I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.
Yo mama so fat,
Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.
What do you call a retarded three legged doggo heckin pupper monster? A 1996 Dodge Neon with a broken tail light cover and 166,748.46 miles on the odometer.
It could use a tune up and it needs a new transmission soon. New rear tires and a new radiator. Test drives with cash in hand. HMU motivated seller. Don’t waste my time and no lowballs.
You're so dumb that every time you use the bathroom, you use your shoe to wipe your ass.
Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.
Teacher: Johnny, can you use a sentence with "definitely" in it?
Little Johnny: Do farts have lumps in them?
Teacher: Of course not, Johnny.
Little Johnny: Then I’ve definitely shat myself.
Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.
A fake name and a fake phone number.
My dad always used to beat me, but he never beat cancer.
If Hitler was a comedian, he would use laughing gas.
Yo mama so fat when she wanted to get wet, she used the highway as a slippin' slide!
Why don't they put petals on wheelchairs so when our arms get tired, we just use our legs?