Use Jokes

Your hairline is so bad that they used it as trenches in the World War.

One day a teacher says: "What does a pig give us?"

A student says: "Bacon!"

The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a chicken give us?"

A student says: "Eggs!"

The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a fat cow give us?"

A student says: "Homework!"

The whole class laughs.

How do you make a body disappear?

You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!

P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.

Your momma's so fat, she had to take a selfie using the Hubble telescope.

How did the nut study for its test?

It used the inter-nut.

Just a dark humor joke

A man with gray hair and a beard sits at a table with a bottle of beer, looking at the viewer. The text on the image reads: "The thing about 'your mom' jokes is that they're all old and overly used... like your mom."

Name what guns are used for. {wrong answers only?}

Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.

Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."

Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."

To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"

What flowers do orphans use?...

Self-raising flour.

Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.

I used to be a man in a woman’s body. And then I was born.

Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?

THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!

Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

Kid: I don't know why.

Man: Because they have a family plan.

Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.

Yo mama so fat, she uses the Gulf of Mexico as her hot tub!

Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"

Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"

Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*

Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"

Lady: "Let me do that."

Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"

I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.

Sans: What am I using?

A trom-bone!

Why does Aaron eat burgers on a Wednesday? Because his spine is bent, and his favorite gun in Apex Legends is the G7 Scout, and he uses the speedy Spanish man.