Use jokes
You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!
Stephen Hawking isn’t dead, he’s just using VPN.
My gun is like my house, used to be full, now it's empty.
Playing a game called 7-Up.
Student: Why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers?
Teacher: It's cheating!
Student: No! It's the object of the game.
GRAVEYARD SAVINGS:
While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for a family named Dingle.”
💔 The Broken Family 💔 . Part 1
Girl: Mom, dad tried to have sex with me last night.
Mom: Are you serious?? (Shocked)
Girl: Yah. He said I must kiss him after he didn't want to let me go.
Mom: Am gonna kill ur dad (Angry)
Girl: Please mom, we still need him, who will buy use food and clothes. You don't have a job mom.
Mom: But what he did was wrong.
Girl: I know.
(SOUND OF A CAR COMING IN)
Mom: Is that ur dad.
Girl: Yes Mom
Comment Part 2
What does the pedophile use for bait? Trix!
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
I used to work at a T-shirt factory before the company folded.
Why do Jedis stay single?
Because they use "divorce" (the Force).
May divorce be with you!
I would make a joke about Silver the Hedgehog... but it's no use!
Yo momma so fat that she was used as a tank in Putin's war.
What do emos use as birth control?
Their personalities!
Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?
So she can moan with her right hand.
OK, OK, what's up with the fake Gwens? I am going to use a test to see who is real or not.
The real Gwen will know this. When did I come onto this website? Next question, what is my real name, and do I go on cursing rampages? Only the real Gwen can complete this test with the right answers.
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
I used to hate facial hair,
but then it grew on me.
How do you know someone is fucking dumb?
They put jokes that have been used several times already.