Use

Use jokes

Dildo

  • Many years of sex in the dark.

    The wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick!"

    The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch!"

  • 1
  • Anniversary

  • Lol, 1 week anniversary of me being on Worst Jokes Ever...

    J0K35: *LETS START A JOKING KEGGAR*

    A Joking keggar is where I get you drunk with some jokes, only on a special occasion.

    Okay, y'all ready to get drunk with raging jokes? OK LETS GOOOOo

    What do you call an LGBTQ+ disc jockey?

    A DG (dee gay)

    What does lava use when it can't walk properly?

    A volCANEo

    What do crackheads do when a black man got brutalized?

    They start a HIGHot (say it like hi-ot, _riot_)

    What is Satan's favorite DJ?

    MarshHELLo

    What do neck breakers use?

    Snapchat

    What did Twitter and Reddit eat with chocolate and marshmallows?

    Instagraham crackers

    Is this the last joke?

    No

    What is similar between a dog and my ex?

    They are both commonly known as bitches

    What number has a flu from a pig?

    Nine flu (swine flu)

    What did the loaf say when he was playing hide and seek?

    BREADY OR NOT? HERE I GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    Who is the best anime girl?

    Well, it's pretty obvious 02 is on the second rank

    Why did Sally get caned?

    Because old men hurriCANED.

    That was all

    OR WAS IT?

    Yes, it was (Come back on Halloween for another Joking Keggar)

    LGBTQ

  • I am only here because me no like Blues Clues LGBTQ episode as I don’t believe in that. If you do, ok.

    And it shouldn’t be a month, the month should be for all of the war veterans, it should be a day for pride. Companies only use this month for money; it’s exploitation because they don’t truly support, unlike me, in which I don’t support it.

  • 7
  • Star Wars

  • I just found out that one of the new Star Wars shows is going to be about the time that some malware overloaded all of their computers, and I can tell from the title that those computers use Windows!

    It's called "The Bad Batch File!"

  • 0
  • Rape victim

  • What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?

    Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.

  • 3
  • Incest

  • Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.

    Nine months later, they happily had some use for their baby carriage.

    Two years later, they went up again, then their daughter had a brother.

    But one little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother.

  • 7
  • Seatbelt

  • Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?

    A. A seatbelt.

  • 6
  • Oven

  • Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?

  • 1
  • Farmer

  • This city slicker broke down on a country road. He looked around, and in the distance, he spotted a farm house. When he finally got there, he asked the farmer if he had a phone he could use because his had no reception.

    The farmer told him he could use it if he married his daughter. The guy said he really didn’t wanna get married, and the farmer said, "If you marry my daughter, I’ll give you half my farm..." The guy said, "Lemme see her..." The farmer hollered, “Hey you, get over here...” and she said, “Duh, ok.” The ol' boy looked at her and said, "Nooo thank you."

    The father said, “I’ll give you all my farm and my bank account if you’ll marry my daughter....” The ol' boy thought for a minute and said, “Well I guess I can put a sack over her head.” So they married and the farmer kept his word and gave him everything.

    One day the guy was up fixin' the roof and hollered, “Hey you, get me some nails...” His wife said, “Duh, nails, nails?” He said, “Yes, nails,” and showed her one. She said, “Oh, duh, nails, nails.” He said, “Yes, nails.” So she got him some. He was hammering away when he hit his thumb, and he yells, “Oh F*** it!” and she turned and hollered, “Duh, a sack, a sack, duh, a sack!”

  • 0
  • Tuna

  • Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.

  • 5
  • Murder

  • When I was acting up, my mother used to tell me, "I brought you into this world, and I will take you out. I gave you life, and I can also take it." So my son was acting up and talking back to me. Now I'm being charged with murder. I don't understand. I thought it was okay to kill your own kids.

  • 0
  • Knife

  • When I was younger, I thought that it was cool to use knives because kids used to ask me to use them.

    By the way, have you seen my sister?