Ups jokes

You know shit is going down when anything pumped up kicks related is brought into school.

I am a good role model, because you look up to me. Deez nuts!

To RANDYYYY,

Hi Randy, this is ALYA. I don't want to fight with you. If you're an orphan and you do know about your past, you probably get sad, right? Well, these jokes just bring up the bad times for me.

-ALYA with love

Gwen just wanted to help you with the bullying.

Tip 1. Ignore them; bullies are really just cowards.

Tip 2. Stand up for yourself; it's ok for people to also help you, but you do the same for yourself!

Tip 3. Just let them be; they're just stupid!

Love you-Iariah

A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.

One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."

This black dude goes up to an Indian guy and says, "What up brotha?"

The Indian guy gets offended and says, "We are not the same."

The black guy then pulls out a gun, and the Indian guy says, "Ok brother, ok brother, we are the same, we are the same."

Do the voice in your head.

Isn't having depersonalization mean that you like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?

(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)

They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"

Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.

Me.

You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.

Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.

"Deznuts up your ass."

Tooth 1: Hey, do you like my jokes?

Tooth 2: Yeah, but they're cracking me up.

An Asian walked up to another Asian that was crying.

He asked, "Is somting wong?"

The other guy says, "I was i a noh paking zon."

So, I went up to an emo and I said, "Why did you steal my bar code from my chips?"

Why did the stairs move?

Because it was up to something!

Yo mama so stupid that she sat on the TV and watched the couch.

We are in a matrix, wake up.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get to the house. They turned the lights out. Jill shouts, "It's a dildo, WTF?"

One thing you can ask Mario:

"Can you jump up and down for me?"

Instead of Obama, it was supposed to be Osama. Pretending I got their names mixed up.

Teacher: "Stand up, class!"

She is sitting down.

Teacher: "Whoever stands up is stupid!"