Ups jokes
Get the gun, shoot it up your bum!
Jeff crosses the US border.
The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.
Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."
I was sitting in class when my teacher said, "Have any questions?" the suspended Class clown said, "Who's Joe?" So the teacher said, "Joe who?" So the clown said, "Joe Mama!" So I said, "What in the BALLS?" So I ended up staying in detention with the clown, ah, so cozy!
When does an Emo wake up in the morning? After the rooster says, "Cutadoodledo!"
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some chips and sweets.
No, he can't keep his heart rate down, and she's got diabetes.
Memes
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah who woke up one morning to find her husband and his wheelchair missing. She searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, she put up posters all over town offering a reward.
Annabeth: "Percy, whaters up with you?"
Why did you and Sarah break up?
'Cause she cheetahed on me.
What goes up but never goes down?
My grades.
(I wish)
Why are people so worked up about 9/11? They were just playing Jenga.
Sorry for this Pick Up Line.
Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11, so let me put my plane in and let kids fall out.
Your hairline is so messed up, it made Jeffrey Dahmer cry.
That shit was trash. You can't handle me.
Hold up. Aren't you Nathaniel B.?
How do you cause an African parade?
You just carry a water bottle around and hold it up!
Joe Mama so fat, when she told a joke nobody laughed, but the floor was cracking up.
Never gonna give you up.
My penis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.
The guy called up to the orphanage, then he asked, "Where are the kids' faces?"
Then another guy said, "Sorry, there's no homepage."
Why does fireman wear red suspenders?
To hold his pants up.
I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy