Ups jokes

Wanna hook up at Mount Cook?

Gwen, I thought you would be with me if Prince broke up with you... :((((((

Sorry man, but I got to say one thing. You know when a bully in a movie walks to you, then they walk up to you, and they smell you and say, "What are you doing?"

Somebody told me to type "Up" by Cardi B. So here it goes:

Up

I woke up today, and my mom said it was 1940.

What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?

Answer: A promise.

I saw a little kid cry. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. Jeez, I love working at the orphanage!

What do you call a fucked up mullet? A fullet.

You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

Q: Why don't orphans turn up to parents evening?

A: Because they don't have any parents.

I didn't put my kids up for adoption.

What's up with airline food?

How do you communicate to the dead?

Jump up and down on the ground and speak in Morse code!

Friend: What goes up but not down?

You: Your age.

My brother has a fucking ass and I wake up to him twerking.

I was trying to make a joke about fighting, but I couldn't come up with a good punchline.

Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?

A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.

Here's a good tree joke to spruce up your day!

Who do you call to clean up foul language?

A cuss-todian!

What's the best part about beating up an orphan?

They can't tell their parents.