Ups jokes
I wanted to put this up so I could say goodbye to everyone that I chatted with, like Gwen or MEG... So, yea, see you next year after Friday.
Somebody told me to type "Up" by Cardi B. So here it goes:
Up
I woke up today, and my mom said it was 1940.
What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?
Answer: A promise.
So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."
Memes
Do you know the teacher that went up in space? She had blew eyes. One blew this way and one blew that way.
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
Are you the Twin Towers? Cause I'd love to take you out. ðŸ¤
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My forehead blew up because I saw yours at the forehead shop!
You heard of the Pixar movie "Up," but have you heard of "Down, Down," the 9/11 terrorist attack?
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
One day I went to talk to my friend.
"Hi John!" I said.
No response.
"Oh, yeah."
I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.
"Hope that helps!"
I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.
A handicapped person tells a good joke, but he can't be a stand up comedian.
Nostalgia hits you like a train.
It's so hard, you can even wake up.
What animal jumps the highest?
An emo kid, some of them are still up there.
"Stand up for yourself! Oh, come on, walk it off."
It must be tiring to put makeup on two faces.
Stan says shut the f**k up or sit your ass down on that b***h chair!