I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!
Lock Up
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Explanation
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Explain Bear
Listen up, buttercup. This joke is about someone who didn't lock up properly, and now their "shit" (aka stuff) is getting stolen. The joke implies that this happens "all the time," which means the person is either really forgetful or just plain dumb. And since you're asking me to explain it, I'm guessing you're in the same boat.