Ups jokes
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
My penis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.
If this pops up on your timeline, fuck you!
My brother eats water from the pig factory at 1:00 a.m., and blames a deaf kid, so he ended up going to solitary.
Bro, if I die, I want to die blown up by 34 pounds of C4 at a furry convention.
Memes
Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
Ha ha! Get rickrolled!
I was sitting in class when my teacher said, "Have any questions?" the suspended Class clown said, "Who's Joe?" So the teacher said, "Joe who?" So the clown said, "Joe Mama!" So I said, "What in the BALLS?" So I ended up staying in detention with the clown, ah, so cozy!
When does an Emo wake up in the morning? After the rooster says, "Cutadoodledo!"
Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
Never gonna give you up.
Joe Mama so fat, when she told a joke nobody laughed, but the floor was cracking up.
Jeff crosses the US border.
The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.
Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."
How do you cause an African parade?
You just carry a water bottle around and hold it up!
Annabeth: "Percy, whaters up with you?"
Your hairline is so messed up, it made Jeffrey Dahmer cry.
I prank called someone and I said, "Is there a Missis Wall there?" They said no. Is there a Mr. Wall there? They said no. Are there any Walls there? They said no. Then what's holding up your building?
I waved to you before, but you never sea me because you're so washed up.
Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!
Sleep and death are alike; it's just with death you don't wake up.
When is the last time you picked up the phone?