Unexpected jokes
I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.
We started playing rocket league.
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
The Doctor replies, "I know, I amputated your arms."
I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad. He didn't show up for the rest of the year.
The other day, I stumbled upon a comic strip in the newspaper. As I started reading, I could feel a smile creeping onto my face. The characters were so relatable, their situation so absurd, yet so familiar, it was impossible not to find it amusing.
The punchline was unexpected, yet it made perfect sense within the context of the story. It was that surprise, that sudden twist, that made me burst out laughing. It was as if the comic strip had set up a joke and I had walked right into it, completely unsuspecting. The laughter bubbled up from within me, a spontaneous reaction to the unexpected humor.
In that moment, I realized the power of humor. It's not just about making people laugh. It's about bringing joy, about making people see the world from a different perspective, even if just for a moment. And that's why I found that comic strip so funny. It wasn't just a joke, it was a moment of joy, a moment of surprise, a moment of seeing the world in a different light.
Two mums hook up!
Their daughter comes in the room and says, "Which one's the baby daddy?"
The "mum" points to the woman who was actually a man!
A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.
That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.
That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere!
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack had a shock and a mouth full of cock, and Jill's real name was Randy.
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers.”
She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.
What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?
One was planned.
Father: "Son, you were adopted."
Son: "What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"
Father: "We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes."
A man sees a woman. He falls in love with her. Little did he know she had AIDS.
A lady sees a doctor about a tummy ache. After her check up, the Doctor said, “Looks like you’ll be needing nappies in about 9 months time.”
The lady asks, “Am I pregnant?” To which the Doctor replied, “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
A father of a young girl comes to meet the doctor.
Father: Doctor, how is my daughter's report?
Doctor: Congrats, your daughter is pregnant.
Father: WTF ?????? My daughter is 10 years old and unmarried!
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.
Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.