Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
Two Jokes
There are two types of people, avoid them both.
I arrived at basketball and I asked little Jimmy if he brought the basketballs, and he said, "Nope, but I got two right here!"
I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.
So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"
Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"
Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"
Two nuns in a bathtub.
One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"
The other nun says, "It sure does."
When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.
Two urchins, L. H. A. B.
If BlessedBrian were any more two-faced, he’d be a Rubik’s Cube.
What do you call two brunettes and a blonde in the NFL?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver!
This is two heads.
Deaf. "Deep water." ""
- "78 years."
Are you interested again? ""
"If you go ... you are there."
"No. 85 is good."
What is the most important value? It does not take cheese.
What do two priests say to each other when they walk into an orphanage?
"Let us pray."
Are you interested in it?
More than two boot branches.
What two fights can Africa never win?
A food fight and a water fight.
Two cows in a field.
One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"
The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"
Two planes crashed into two separate towers.
Now two towers crash into two separate planes.
Two Timetravers walk into a bar...
...the bartender then said, "Sorry, we don't serve Timetravers here."
The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."
What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the two of us.
