Two jokes
This is two heads.
Deaf. "Deep water." ""
- "78 years."
Are you interested again? ""
"If you go ... you are there."
"No. 85 is good."
What is the most important value? It does not take cheese.
My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.
I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"
What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?
Tug of whore.
What two fights can Africa never win?
A food fight and a water fight.
What do you call two brunettes and a blonde in the NFL?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver!
How do you think they found out cows produce milk?
Two kids having fun in the barn.
Why is America so bad at playing chess?
They lost two towers.
You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the two of us.
Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
Are you interested in it?
More than two boot branches.
When your little brother knocks your two Jenga towers you made with his toy airplane,
You: "Hey, stop trying to recreate the Twin Towers!"
The Christian, the Buddhist, and the Muslim each go on a separate plane.
The Christian's and the Buddhist's flight goes well, but the Muslim's plane has a problem and crashes into two towers.
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.
Two planes crashed into two separate towers.
Now two towers crash into two separate planes.
Two urchins, L. H. A. B.
What has two wheels and goes really fast?
A vegetable down a hill.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
"I like ya cut G" means two different things.
There were two twins, and they were both very tall.
The next thing they knew, they were on the floor, and there were planes up their asses.
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.