Two jokes

The Christian, the Buddhist, and the Muslim each go on a separate plane.

The Christian's and the Buddhist's flight goes well, but the Muslim's plane has a problem and crashes into two towers.

What has two wheels and goes really fast?

A vegetable down a hill.

What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?

"I like ya cut G" means two different things.

I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.

We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.

Don't break girls' hearts. Break their legs instead. They're two.

Orgasm means two things:

1. During you masturbate.

2. You torture phantoms.

There were two twins, and they were both very tall.

The next thing they knew, they were on the floor, and there were planes up their asses.

What do you call two emos in a chemistry lab?

My Chemical Romance.

Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.

So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

Two urchins, L. H. A. B.

What did the Los Angels Police do when George Floyd said that he could not breath? they gave George Floyd two squirts of zicam cold remedy inside his nose

Two Timetravers walk into a bar...

...the bartender then said, "Sorry, we don't serve Timetravers here."

Two cows in a field.

One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"

The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"

What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?

Noise!

The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."

What do you call two brunettes and a blonde in the NFL?

Two tight ends and a wide receiver!

What two fights can Africa never win?

A food fight and a water fight.

You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the two of us.

This is two heads.

Deaf. "Deep water." ""

- "78 years."

Are you interested again? ""

"If you go ... you are there."

"No. 85 is good."

What is the most important value? It does not take cheese.