TV Show Jokes

Things you say before sex, Disney addition:

"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"

There was a man who had just moved from a foreign country. He just moved into his apartment and was watching his favorite TV shows. The first one was "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me," the second one was "forks and knives, forks and knives, all I use is forks and knives," and the last one was "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!"

There had been a murder in the area, and the man was walking in the park when a cop showed up and asked him, "Sir, have you seen this man?" and held up a photo. The man said "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me." The cop said, "Sir, what did you use?" and the man said "forks and knives, forks and knives, all I use is forks and knives." After that, the cop said, "Sir, I'm going to have to arrest you," and the man said "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!" The screen goes black, and all you can here "chk-chk. BANG"

Deku: Hey, Todoroki?

Shoto: Wht?

Deku: I just found out on the news that your dad froze to death. Do you know who did it?

Shoto: :)

Because all I do is pound it, man. I would put you on my "600 Pound Life" if you didn't weigh 1,000.

What is an orphan's favorite TV show?

"Alone."

A screenshot from a TV show, showing a woman with long blond hair (Daenerys Targaryen) half-naked in front of some candles. The text says "This is why". Above, the text says "Me: I hate watching movies with subtitles. Friend: but why?"

Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.

What's the difference between BTS and Futurama? There's only one Bender in Futurama.

While I was waiting for your mum to waddle past, I missed a whole season of my TV show!

Orphans don't like "Family Feud."

"Giggety, giggety." Lois, give me your titties.

You are like Papa.

Friends don't lie.

Yo mama so fat the last time I saw 90210 was when she stepped on the scale.

Lucky for me I'm only 210.

Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel, and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms, and she responds with, “Who the frick are you talking about? Since I don’t know them, I got a surprise for you!” She wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled "For Eugene."

It was September 10, 2001, when I stayed up watching TV shows.

I woke up late for work at The World Trade Center, but it was burning. I said out loud, "I was late! I'm happy I was late to work! I mean... I could've di-" I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.

When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"