Turn

Turn jokes

Game

"Bob it, twist it, pull it, hit it, turn it, twist it, slide it."

Bathroom

What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.

Memes

Fist

Roses are red, violets are not lime, if you turn around, I will fist you anytime.

Wife

My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.

When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

Birthday

My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!

Pistachio

What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?

He became a shell of who he once was.

Light

You're so white that when I turn off the lights, you're a night light.

Burden

When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.

Turns out, I'm just a burden.

Smell

One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.

Frog

What turns green to red in a flick of a switch?

A frog in a blender.

Dog

Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.

The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.

Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.

On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.

This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!