Turn jokes
I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
BlessedBrian's face is like a mood ring... it turns blue whenever I'M around.
Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.
Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.
A blonde crashes an airplane.
Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?
Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.
Officer: *face palms self*
Also officer: Here's your sign.
My owl turned 180 today.
He isn’t old, he just has a bad neck.
So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."
An alligator is in a class, turns out he likes teaching!
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.
Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.
You're so white that when I turn off the lights, you're a night light.
It turns into ligma.
Brother: What's ligma?
Big Brother: Ligma dick!
"Bob it, twist it, pull it, hit it, turn it, twist it, slide it."
You're so emo, the sun turned black.
Don't turn the toaster sideways, worst mistake of my life.
My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!
Your mama is so ugly that when she walked in the bank, they had to turn off the cameras.