Turn jokes
I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.
In India, whoever lives facing the roadside, this is for them.
Whenever it starts raining heavily, our homes turn into pool-facing homes because the roads disappear.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she turned on the TV, it changed channels by itself.
I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.
An alligator is in a class, turns out he likes teaching!
So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
*Windows turning off*
Hey, I asked for a paper, but I thought it was a cut, but it turns out it was tearable.
My owl turned 180 today.
He isn’t old, he just has a bad neck.
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
How to silence a black protester at a rally?
TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS.
Some rules of childhood cricket:
1. Whose bat, his batting.
2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.
3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.
What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?
A baby with a javelin in its head!
I turned gay because my wife is too poor.
Yo mama so fat if she turned into food, she could solve world hunger.
When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?
When it fails to turn up.
When recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
Conversely, you can recycle a condom quite easily: just turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They wait for it to turn itself in.
A pair of Newfies decide to visit Toronto. They drive through Nova Scotia, through New Brunswick, through Montréal, Kingston, Oshawa... then they see a sign that says "Toronto Left", so they turn back around and go home.
How many bisexuals does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends, are you AC or DC? However many turn you on.