Airport security jokes

My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.

"Water exists."

Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"

I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.

I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.

When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.

Osama be like: "Fuck boys, runway is full, better use this tower!"

Planes shouldn't have free Wi-Fi. Why? Because the last time they had free Wi-Fi, well here's what happened...

On September eleventh 2001, (children scream).

What did the north tower say to the south tower?

"Let’s talk later, I gotta catch a plane."